Good evening and welcome to Have I Got News for You, the show that's done for Friday and Saturday nights what ten pints of lager does for Sunday mornings, although I wouldn't know, being more partial to cocaine personally. Allegedly.
Friday and Saturday nights have a funny way of revealing what we really believe on Sunday mornings.
A lot of people tune in to 'Monday Night Raw,' and they can hear these boos or these mixed reactions, but they're not there for our Friday live event show, our Saturday show, our Sunday show. I get to experience a lot of very supportive nights where everybody is on my side.
A lot of my friends, when I was 14 or 15, they were all up and down, wanting to go out on a Friday night, and my dad had me working really late on Fridays and Saturday mornings and even on Sunday mornings. And when I'd finished all that, we used to spend the rest of the time talking about boxing.
My grandmother took me to church on Sunday all day long, every Sunday into the night. Then Monday evening was the missionary meeting. Tuesday evening was usher board meeting. Wednesday evening was prayer meeting. Thursday evening was visit the sick. Friday evening was choir practice. I mean, and at all those gatherings, we sang.
You know you're doing what you love when Sunday nights feel the same as Friday nights.
It really hurt my heart because 'WWE Fastlane' was in Cleveland, Ohio and I was on the road shows on Friday and Saturday, and then Cleveland was my hometown and we had 'Fastlane' there and I looked on my travel app and it said: Friday booked, Saturday booked and then Sunday not booked and I was like, you have got to be kidding me?
Never retire! Do what you do and keep doing it. But don't do it on Friday. Take Friday off. Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, go fishing...Then Monday to Thursday, do what you've been doing all your life. My point is: Live full and don't retreat.
If I were to just focus on stand-up, I could actually, paradoxically enough, be home way more, because I would leave on a Friday, go do a couple theaters Friday, Saturday, maybe Sunday, come home.
At least you're learning a thing or two about wine. Good to hear you're making such an effort to improve yourself." "Does the U.S. attorney know how much you like spending your Saturday nights eavesdropping on private conversations?" Nick asked. "The U.S. attorney knows exactly how I like spending my Saturday nights.
My ideal Friday and Saturday evening would be... Friday to go out and have dinner with my girlfriends. Saturday night, I would stay in. I would have somebody cook for me out there because I do not cook very well.
The church was everything: our social engagements, Sunday morning, Sunday evening. Wednesday night was the hour of power. We had Bible study on certain days. Saturday afternoon was choir practice. I wanted desperately to be a good Christian.
You know how you toilet paper and egg somebody's house? I did it, right? But I did it back-to-back nights, Saturday and Sunday. They called the police. Good thing nobody got arrested but that was something embarrassing and stupid. Why would you do the same house twice? It was ridiculous.
There is a man up in Philadelphia, I've known him for 50 years now, his name is Sid Mark. He does a radio program featuring Frank Sinatra music exclusively - one show for decades, "Friday with Frank," "Saturday with Sinatra," "Sunday with Sinatra," for decades. This is something that is really quite important.
I used to drink a lot of lager when I was younger, but I'm more of a wine drinker now, I guess. I feel daunted looking at full pints.
Saturday and Sunday mornings are the only time the children are allowed to turn on the television.
I'd prefer no practices and just Saturday, Sunday. Just qualify Saturday morning, race Saturday afternoon, and race again Sunday. Less laps of nonsense and more laps of meaningful business.