A Quote by Annie E. Clark
Putting your ego aside and confronting your weaknesses and just letting things happen is hard. Not to use a Scientology term, but it's difficult to do an emotional or an artistic audit.
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The demons of the Devil don't use your weak weaknesses against you, they use your strong ones. If you're rational and logical, they argue their case rationally and logically. If you're loyal and faithful, they turn those against you. If you're passionate and emotional, they make you passionate and emotional about your worse fears. Your weak weaknesses are no use to them.... They find the strongest weaknesses you didn't know were yours and use those against you.
The reality is just the opposite: the master does nothing. It is in your becoming a disciple that the whole mystery lies. It is in your surrender of the ego that the whole search comes to an authentic point. It is in putting your mind aside. That is what sannyas is: an authentic discipleship. It means putting your mind aside. You have lived according to your mind up to now. If that is fulfilling, then there is no need for anybody to become a sannyasin.
It's very good for you, riding. Every model is like, "I do yoga." I find horses have the same effect, in that you have to put your ego aside and concentrate on making the horse do the things you want it to do, and move in the way you want it to move. So you have to use your body to help this horse do incredibly difficult movements that don't come naturally to it. And if something goes wrong, it's not the horse's fault; it's always your fault. So you have to be quite levelheaded. And then the whole nature aspect of it is very calming.
By accepting life before it happens, and letting go of your inner resistance to all things you cannot change, you unlock true emotional freedom from all of your self-imposed emotional pain.
Scientology's a slow process in the beginning. It teaches basic principles of life - do unto others as you'd have done to you and be responsible. Then there are little courses that cost a little bit of money and you start to learn the concepts of Scientology, kind of like, "Scientology's a new religion and so it's being attacked, here's all the good works that we're doing." And you're like, "Why do people attack Scientology?" It slowly starts to get in your mind and your subconscious that it's Scientology against the world, and any enemy of Scientology is an enemy to mankind.
The ego is only an illusion, but a very influential one. Letting the ego-illusion become your identity can prevent you from knowing your true self. Ego, the false idea of believing that you are what you have or what you do, is a backwards way of assessing and living life.
The only way out of the Scientology church is rip the Band-Aid off and know that your eternity is not at stake and know that you're doing the right thing and know that you're involved in a damaging, hurtful cult. Just look outside, don't listen to Scientology. They are not saving the world. Don't give up your lives, don't give up your families, don't give up your friends for something that turns its back on you and is ultimately a lie. What's Scientology's selling is a lie.
You have to put your ego aside as an actor. Or you're using your ego to tell the story. Your body is a part of a tool to tell the story. So if you feel something, it's wrong. It means you're not inside of the character.
Your kids need your love and attention, and being able to devote myself to them is very fulfilling. As I get older, spending time with my daughters makes things much easier. You learn to put your ego aside.
You're the only one who knows when you're using things to protect yourself and keep your ego together and when you're opening and letting things fall apart, letting the world come as it is - working with it rather than struggling against it. You're the only one who knows.
Getting into the character is difficult and letting go of your life and the things that kind of define you, whatever it is in life that's your daily routine because you sort of find yourself in this other life and that's difficult and the other end is difficult.
"When you accept your life - when you take your breakfast, and when you sleep and when you walk and when you take your bath - how can you create an ego out of these things? Sleeping when feeling sleepy, eating when feeling hungry, how can you create your ego? No, if you fast, you can create ego. If you are on a vigilance for the whole night, and you say, "I am not going to sleep," you can create the ego. By the morning, the person who has slept well will have no ego, you will have a great ego."
I've known people who thought that reaching their potential would come from shoring up their weaknesses. But do you know what happens when you spend all your time working on your weaknesses and never developing your strengths? If you work really hard, you might claw your way all the way to mediocrity! But you'll never get beyond it.
Remember, most of the things you think you need are ego trips designed to bolster your image and your perception of security.... You'll waste a lot of energy satisfying your ego only to find that, as soon as it's got what it wants, it ignores all your efforts and promptly nails another list of demands to your forehead. The ego will always try to force you to slave for its vision. I wouldn't stand for that BS if I were you.
That is again the same story played on a more subtle level. That's what the religious people have been doing down the ages - pious egoists they have been. They have made their ego even more decorated; it has taken the color of religion and holiness. Your ego is better than the ego of a saint; your ego is better, far better - because your ego is very gross, and the gross ego can be understood and dropped more easily than the subtle. The subtle ego goes on playing such games that it is very difficult. One will need absolute awareness to watch it.
There was something I was always very good at, however, and that was teaching myself not to be frightened while frightening things are going on. It is difficult to do this, but I had learned. It is simply a matter of putting one’s fear aside, like the vegetable on the plate you don’t want to touch until all of your rice and chicken are gone, and getting frightened later, when one is out of danger. Sometimes I imagine I will be frightened for the rest of my life because of all of the fear I put aside during my time in Stain’d-by-the-Sea.
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