A Quote by Anthony Jeselnik

You don't know anything about pain until you've seen your own baby drowned in a tub... and you definitely don't know anything about how to wash a baby.

Anthony Jeselnik

Quote Topics

About Anything Baby Definitely Drowned How Know Own Pain Seen T Pain Tub Until Wash Your

Quote Author

Anthony Jeselnik
American - Comedian
Born: December 22, 1978

I love my family but my family - they're the type of people that never let you forget anything you ever did... I was in the first grade Christmas play - I'm playing Mary. Now, during the course of the play, I dropped the baby Jesus... They still talk about this. I go to my family reunion, and one of my cousins just had a baby. So I'm like, 'Oh, that's a cute little baby. Let me hold the baby...' And my aunt runs over, 'Don't you give her that baby! You know she dropped the baby Jesus!'

Wanda Sykes

One baby is a patient baby, and waits indefinitely until its mother is ready to feed it. The other baby is an impatient baby and cries lustily, screams and kicks and makes everybody unpleasant until it is fed. Well, we know perfectly well which baby is attended to first. That is the whole history of politics.

Emmeline Pankhurst

The whole entire album is about Cry Baby, you know, being super insecure and kind of like going through her emotions until she finally realizes that she's comfortable with how crazy and insane she is and I think that I've made the exact same kind of progression , and the growth...and I don't know, like I feel like I've definitely grown into who I am and, like, I think Cry Baby is just me.

Melanie Martinez

Cry Baby is about Cry Baby and the next album [which I think I have a title for but I don't wanna say anything yet because I don't know and it's too early] is a place in the weird town that I'm trying to create and its Cry Baby's perspective throughout this album. You're not learning about her, you're learning about the place that she's in and her perspective. Down the line for sure I will think of other characters in this world.

Melanie Martinez

Please don't wait until the doctors tell you that you are going to have a baby to begin to take care of it. It is already there. Whatever you are, whatever you do, your baby will get it. Anything you eat, any worries that are on your mind will be for him or her. Can you tell me that you cannot smile? Think of the baby, and smile for him, for her, for the future generations. Please don't tell me that a smile and your sorrow just don't go together. It's your sorrow, but what about your baby? It's not his sorrow, its not her sorrow.

Nhat Hanh

If you know anything about ducks, you know a baby duck will imprint itself on you. It misses its mother.

Michael Leunig

I get this a lot: 'Oh, can you take a picture with my baby? Can you hold the baby?' I don't want to hold your baby! I'll hold my baby. I don't like holding someone else's baby. I'm serious! You never know what could happen. It's such an awkward position you're put in, and it's like, 'No, sorry.'

Juan Pablo Montoya

I actually wash my face with Johnson's Baby Shampoo. It's the best face wash. I swear, it's so good! I mean, think about it. It's made for a baby's head. It smells so good, it's sensitive, and it gives you a super clean feeling.

Madison Beer

Everybody always talks about it, about how you don't know love until you meet your baby, and you really feel that. There are no words. It was a really wonderful surprise. And there is no way to prepare yourself for the sleep deprivation and what comes with it.

Hilary Duff

It's like a mother, when the baby is crying, she picks up the baby and she holds the baby tenderly in her arms. Your pain, your anxiety is your baby. You have to take care of it. You have to go back to yourself, to recognize the suffering in you, embrace the suffering, and you get a relief.

Nhat Hanh

I love my baby more than anything. He's like a Gerber baby. He's the cutest baby in the whole world.

Bristol Palin

The idea that a baby doesn't amount to anything! Why, one baby is just a house and a front yard full by itself. One baby can, furnish more business than you and your whole Interior Department can attend to. He is enterprising, irrepressible, brimful of lawless activities.

Mark Twain

But when you have a baby inside you, you're like 'Whoa!' Anything can happen here, I've got to give this baby all the nutrients it needs and really take care of myself, so this is definitely the healthiest I've ever been in my life.

Holly Madison

I know you know the tale of Baby June You know the way she could deliver a tune She was a killer in a petticoat A little bit of everyone you adore... And if your baby let you down at night, Well Baby June would make it up alright And I was never happier Than in the arms and charms of her

Terry Moore

I told my students the other day in class, which is about the spirituality and creativity as much as it is about music. I said, 'If you're walking down the street and you see a baby carriage, and there's a baby in the carriage; you look down and your eyes meet the eyes of the baby. The baby looks at you: That's the kind of moment you're in when you're playing.