A Quote by Anthony Jeselnik

I feel worthless. My girlfriend was attacked on the subway yesterday. And I can't even enjoy it.

Anthony Jeselnik

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Attacked Enjoy Even Feel Girlfriend My Girlfriend Subway Worthless Yesterday

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Anthony Jeselnik
American - Comedian
Born: December 22, 1978

To be born as a human being is a rare thing, something to be grateful for. But being born as a human being is worthless if you spend your whole life in a mental hospital. It is worthless if you worry about not having money. It is worthless if you become neurotic because you cannot get a prestigious job. It is worthless if you weep because you lose your girlfriend.

Kodo Sawaki

To live is to be someone else. Feeling is impossible if we feel today as we felt yesterday: to feel today the same thing we felt yesterday is not to feel at all--it's merely to remember today what we felt yesterday, since today we are the living cadaver of yesterday's lost life.

Fernando Pessoa

I feel very comfortable with my trajectory because I do have a life; I can go on the subway, you know? And I've been able to do that my entire career, and I have friends who are huge movie stars and can't go on the subway, and I feel like that sucks.

Lake Bell

Of course, in Los Angeles, everything is based on driving, even the killings. In New York, most people don't have cars, so if you want to kill a person, you have to take the subway to their house. And sometimes on the way, the train is delayed and you get impatient, so you have to kill someone on the subway. That's why there are so many subway murders; no one has a car.

George Carlin

I take the subway four times a day, or close to it. I just love the subway! My grandfather worked as an electrician when they were digging the subway.

Mike Birbiglia

I've become a huge fan of the subway, even though I've gotten lost... well, not lost, but went the wrong direction on the subway a couple of times.

DeAndre Jordan

In politics, yesterday's lie is attacked only to flatter today's.

Jean Rostand

I couldn't feel good about myself hanging out in Armani clothes when my girlfriend can't even pay her heating bill. I'd feel foul and I'd be embarrassed.

Shirley Manson

I'm very social, and in a place like New York, even if you're alone on the subway, you never feel lonely.

Ana Gasteyer

My neighbor complains every time my girlfriend and I have sex. We're not even that loud. But he used to date my girlfriend.

Anthony Jeselnik

To feel today what one felt yesterday isn't to feel - it's to remember today what was felt yesterday, to be today's living corpse of what yesterday was lived and lost.

Fernando Pessoa

I take the subway because I don't like having someone else driving. It's hard for me to be in a cab, because the traffic makes me feel insane. On the subway you're getting there faster and it's easier.

Chloe Sevigny

I've always lived in a city. I'm very social, and in a place like New York, even if you're alone on the subway, you never feel lonely.

Ana Gasteyer

I can't even enjoy a blade of grass unless I know there's a subway handy, or a record store or some other sign that people do not totally regret life. It's more important to confirm the least sincere. The clouds get enough attention as it is.

Frank O'Hara

In 2014, everybody kind of knows that the Iraqi army fled when it was attacked by ISIS. But actually, the Kurdish Peshmerga, although they had a better reputation, fled even faster, about a month later, when they were attacked.

Patrick Cockburn

"If you paid me for work," continued Max, whose rhetoric was more sophisticated than you might expect from a man with food in his beard, "I wouldn't have to feel worthless. There's not law says old people have to feel worthless all the while, you know. You paid me, I'd have some dignity." Now it was Mile's turn to nod and smile agreeably. "I think the dignity ship set sail a long time ago, Dad."

Richard Russo

A Quote by Anthony Jeselnik

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