A Quote by Anthony Jeselnik
I was a terrible employee. I've been fired from almost every job I've ever had, luckily, in a good way, or else I'd be stuck. I would always joke around with everybody, and no one enjoyed my humor.
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I often joke that I've been fired from almost every job I've ever had.
I remember a long, long day of filming and it took forever to get Kirk Douglas up on his cross. We played a terrible joke on him when, as he was safely installed, the assistant director called lunch and left him up there. He could have had the lot of us fired but he was very good about it. You have to have a sense of humor in this industry.
I grew up in a family where everybody had a good time and we were at the lake every weekend and going to the beach and living a good life. It's been the way we always lived, and my wife's the same way - enjoy every day and have fun.
Everybody that I've ever seen that enjoyed their job was very good at it.
Nobody ever was fired for 9/11. Instead of firing the people who didn't do a good job, we gave them medals. The guy who did a good job, I don't know what happened to him. And what we did was we decided we'd just collect everybody's information. That we'd sort of scrap the Bill of Rights.
Comedy has always been important in my family. If you got in a good joke at the dinner table, it meant more than almost anything else.
Everybody was cratered after Copenhagen. If the movie had worked the way that it should have, if it had been scripted by Holywood, the world would have come together and addressed the biggest problem it ever had faced and delegates would have embraced each other, and it all would have been a good happy scene instead of the complete farce and debacle that it turned into - maybe in certain ways, an absolute low point for human diplomacy.
In all honesty I think, sometimes with the LGBT community, if you look at anything else surrounding it, there's always been this oddness and sense of humor. I really appreciate that. It's kind of a hard world to take yourself too seriously. It's a good balance check. It's not serious all the time. I'm that way too, even though I write a lot of depressing music. A lot of times our shows are not very serious at all. We joke a lot and then we play a sad song and then we joke again.
I'd been really shy as a kid, I had a terrible stutter, and I thought music would be a good outlet. And it definitely seemed to improve things for me, so I stuck with it.
I always enjoyed playing around Washington, because we always have a good crowd. I've never had a bad crowd in this vicinity from here [Alexandria], up to Washington and on to right around Baltimore. They've been some good fans.
I always say, I have been fired from more jobs than most people would ever have had in their entire career.
One of my early money mistakes was getting fired from the first acting job I ever had. I was cast in a play as the lead, and I got fired three nights after the open.
If in the 1930s nuclear weapons had been invented and the Allies had been faced by Nazi SS20s and Backfire Bombers, would it then have been morally right to have handed Hitler control of one of the most terrible weapons man has ever made? Would not that have been the one way to ensure that the thousand year Reich became exactly that? Would not unilateralism have given to Hitler the world domination he sought?
Since I was younger, I've always had the same body. Older guys would always be like, 'Oh you a stallion.' I finally had to ask, like, is that a good thing? Everybody pretty much took it and ran with it, and then I put it as my main name on Twitter. Ever since then everybody's just been calling me Stallion.
It`s always been the same for me. I`ve always enjoyed acting, and I really love good actors; they`re such unique characters. I wish I could tell stories well, or tell a joke. Any time someone can do that it`s so satisfying. Sean Penn, for instance, is a really good actor, and he can tell a good joke or story. But it`s hard to do. Most actors have special talents that make them attractive, but they`re often odd characters.
I had, like, 11 jobs. I've been fired 11 times! 'Cause I'm not cut for that. You know, I was a great employee, man. Everybody loved me coming to work - I'm singing, tellin' jokes on the assembly line. I was miserable, man. I was dying. I was dying.
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