A Quote by Anthony Jeselnik
Every year I volunteer at a hospital on Thanksgiving, deep-frying turkeys in the children's burn unit. I do it just to see the looks on their little "faces."
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Every year around Christmas and Thanksgiving, I buy a bunch of toys for the sick children in the oncology center at the St. Louis Children's Hospital. I really love giving back and putting a smile on their faces, especially during the holidays.
I did not volunteer for the Waffen SS, but was, as were thousands of my year group, conscripted. I did not then know as a 17-year-old that it was a criminal unit. I thought it was an elite unit.
The turkeys that most Americans eat for Thanksgiving are turkeys - losers that are mass produced and bland.
I hate turkeys. If you go to the grocery store, you start to get mad at turkeys. You see turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami. Somebody just needs to tell the turkeys, "Man, just be yourselves!" I already like you, little fella. I used to draw you. If you had a couple of fingers missing, you would draw a really messed-up turkey. That turkey was in an accident!
Thanksgiving Day - Let all give humble, hearty, and sincere thanks, now, but the turkeys. In the island of Fiji they do not use turkeys, they use plumbers. It does not become you and me to sneer at Fiji.
Let's say you go to a friend's wedding, or Thanksgiving, or Halloween. It'd be great the next day to see what went on with your friends' Thanksgiving weekend, or all the costumes they wore on Halloween, and be able to look back and see what they wore the year before, and the year before that.
Deep-frying properly requires you to keep the oil at a precise temperature range depending on the food. If you're frying in more than an inch of oil you really should invest in a deep-fat thermometer so you can monitor the temperature and know when to adjust the heat.
As far as I can see women who have facelifts don't look younger, just weirder. You see them on screen with these tight, little porcelain faces - then the hand goes up to the face and it looks like it belongs to an alien. I find it really freaky.
I write and direct the Duke University Children's Hospital Benefit every year.
The federal government turns away thousands of applicants to AmeriCorps every year. Our service men and women returning from overseas want to continue to serve. Children from every corner of the country can't wait to volunteer.
My parents came from little, so they made a choice to give a lot: buying turkeys for homeless shelters at Thanksgiving, delivering meals to people in hospices, giving spare change to those asking for it.
In The Deep End, you have a woman who looks like a J. Crew mother who can manage it all. Then we begin to realize what's going on inside. Every time I see one of those women stuck at a stoplight with the children in the back of her car, I sort of think, "What have you just done? What's going on in your life?".
When I was in the Army, the unit I served in, you could never stop. It was a volunteer unit, and there was a fairly high rate of attrition. The people who stayed through are the people who were either great at it or the people who just didn't know how to stop. And I fell into that second category.
I like to stuff myself at Thanksgiving, not turkeys.
Every household down my road in Peckham, south-east London, stunk of deep-fat frying and I'm sure every working-class home around the country was the same. How would you have done chips and Spam fritters without a deep-fat fryer?
Life is all about balance, and there are certain times of the year - birthday, anniversary, holidays - that are meant to be enjoyed without guilt. That being said, Thanksgiving is a meal - it's not a Thanksgiving day, and it's not a Thanksgiving week.
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