A Quote by Anthony Jeselnik

Charlie Sheen called his boss on 'Two and a Half Men' a 'Jew ki**' and expected to go back to work. That’s crazy. If you could do that and keep your job, then everybody would do it.

Anthony Jeselnik

Quote Topics

Back Back To Work Boss Charlie Could Crazy Everybody Expected Go Half His Jew Job Keep Men Then Two Two And A Half Men Work Would Your

Quote Author

Anthony Jeselnik
American - Comedian
Born: December 22, 1978

I would love to do the therapist on 'Two and a Half Men' again or just work with Charlie Sheen.

Jane Lynch

How much blow can Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill two and a half men.

Jon Lovitz

Doctor MacKenzie says "Sometimes I think the Victorians had the right idea. When you lost a family member back then you were suppose to be in full mourning, dress in nothing but black, for a whole year. Then you went into something they called 'half mourning' for another full year, adn during those two years, you were pretty much expected to have emotional breakdowns, you could do it whenever you felt you needed to, and everybody would support you. Now?, A month after a tragedy, maybe two, and you're expected to be all better-or down pills so you can pretend you are.

Mercedes Lackey

If I hit a game-winning shot, right, and I run back down the court and shake my teammates hands, it's because I expected to make it. Because I've practiced or I feel I've worked harder than everybody else. So why would I then go nuts, go crazy if I expected to do that? People don't understand that part about me.

Spencer Dinwiddie

For Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, he came to me and said, "I want to do everything that's in the book, and as much more as you need, so that it all makes sense." I was like, "Okay!" And then, I would pitch back to him my love for Charlie Bucket's family and how lucky Charlie was, and that I felt so bad for Willy Wonka, shut up in his factory, all alone with these crazy Oompa Loompas.

John August

Try to keep your mouth shut until you have a job offer, especially if your move is not entirely certain. There are only a few cases in which I think it would be appropriate to tell your boss what's going on. For example, if your spouse is being forced to relocate, obviously you are going to go, and if you have a good relationship with your boss, then it might take some stress off of you to tell the truth. The general rule, though, is not to give your employer more power over your destiny than you have yourself.

Alexandra Levit

I've done two shows every day for years, but I don't think I could work on just one show a week. I would go crazy, and I would drive everybody nuts. I've got to feel like I'm under pressure.

Greg Gutfeld

For 'The Bachelor,' I went through the entire process and was told I was chosen, and then I told my boss... It turned out that my boss was a huge fan of the show, and he was ecstatic. My promise to my firm was that I would do the filming then go back to work, and I did.

Rachel Lindsay

I hate being called lazy, so when everybody gets up at half seven in the morning, I'm up at the same time. Everyone goes to work and I'll do a few hours of writing, then I'll mess about for a bit and come back to it. By the time I go home I'm done. I think it's really good to keep that kind of a routine with writing. I find that when I don't do that, it's really hard to get back into that headspace of writing.

Nadine Shah

I would never go on an intimate date with Charlie Sheen. He is really not my type at all.

Farrah Abraham

I am on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen.

Charlie Sheen

We could go back," he said. In the dome light of the car, his face looked hard as stone. "We could go back to your house. I can stay with you always. We can know each other's bodies in every way, night after night. I could love you." His nostrils flared, and he looked suddenly proud. "I could work. You would not be poor. I would help you." "Sounds like a marriage," I said, trying to lighten the atmosphere. But my voice was too shaky. "Yes," he said.

Charlaine Harris

I am on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen. It's not available. If you try it once, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.

Charlie Sheen

Flesh could not keep its glamour, nor eyes their sheen. They would go to nothing soon. But monsters are forever.

Clive Barker

When Edison first started out with his "crazy" idea for the light bulb, skeptics were unmoved. They called Thomas Edison a con man and taunted him to prove his bulb could really work. Despite the naysayers, Edison pushed on, demonstrating the importance of sticking with his "crazy" idea which would go on to turn him into one of the world's most well-known entrepreneurs. The key here is to fan the foolish fire no matter what!