A Quote by Anthony Venn-Brown
Homophobia and the closet are allies. Like an unhealthy co-dependent relationship they need each other to survive. One plays the victim living in fear and shame while the other plays the persecutor policing what is ‘normal’. The only way to dismantle homophobia is for every gay man and lesbian in the world to come out and live authentic lives. Once they realise how normal we are and see themselves in us….the controversy is over.
Quote Topics
Quote Author
Related Quotes
The most important political step that any gay man or lesbian can take is to come out of the closet. It's been proven that it is easier to hate us and to fear us if you can't see us.
Crucially we haven't been figuring out how to live in oneness, with the Earth & every other living thing; we have just been insanely trying to figure out how to live with each other, billions of each other, only we're not living with each other our crazy selves are living with each other, and perpetuating an epidemic of disconnection.
When we get to the point where a gay pro athlete is no longer forced to live in fear that he'll be shunned by teammates or outed by tabloids, when we get to the point where he plays while his significant other waits in the family room, when we get to the point where he's not compelled to hide his true self and is able to live an authentic life, then coming out won't be such a big deal. But we're not there yet.
Everyone pretends to be normal and be your best friend, but underneath, everyone is living some other life you don't know about, and if only we had a camera on us at all times, we could go and watch each other's tapes and find out what each of us was really like.
I don't know how to have a normal relationship because I try to act normal and love from a normal place and live a normal life, but there is sort of an abnormal magnifying glass, like telescope lens, on everything that happens.
"What is normal?" really becomes the question. What is normal, and how are we fooled into thinking it's something other than what we're doing at any given time. Every family has either a drug addict or an alcoholic or some sort of dysfunction that the family is dealing with. And I think the grace of this family is that they actually could be that far out there but also be forgiving, and be really human, and be human in front of each other without much shame.
From their struggles to establish dominance over each other, siblings become tougher and more resilient. From their endless rough-housing with each other, they develop speed and agility. From their verbal sparring they learn the difference between being clever and being hurtful. From the normal irritations of living together, they learn how to assert themselves, defend themselves, compromise. And sometimes, from their envy of each other's special abilities they become inspired to work harder, persist and achieve.
The fact that you're having disagreements with each other isn't a problem -that just shows that there are some areas of your relationship that need to be worked on. And that's normal. People are different, so of course you're going to run into times where your differences come out and rub each other the wrong way. But what's important is that you both commit to work on those differences until both of you are satisfied. When you do that, you're walking the right road together and over the long-run you'll do just fine.
Part of my struggle with being gay was that a lot of my homophobia was internalized because of the cues that I was - received. I didn't see anybody like myself in the culture. RuPaul was the closest to a gay, out black man that I had growing up.
The one who has the little need is the one who controls the whole relationship. You can see this dynamic so clearly because usually in every relationship there is one who loves the most and the other who doesn’t love, who only takes advantage of the one who gives his or her heart. You can see the way they manipulate each other, their actions and reactions, and they are just like the provider and the drug addict.
Pride became this dogma which meant you couldn't criticize anything gay - if you were the least bit critical of gay culture or people or any gay person doing any gay thing, that was an insufficient display of pride. You were suffering from internalized homophobia. As opposed to external homophobia.
I've had plenty of arguments in Memphis with Tony Allen, Marc Gasol, Rudy Gay, Zach Randolph, we all go through that spell, you ride with each other for so many years, you have a situation where you go at one another to push each other. It's normal in basketball, normal in life. It's just so public in this game.
A huge part of what animates homophobia among young people is paranoia and fear of their own capacity to be gay themselves.
I've always viewed 'Sons of the Prophet' as the first part of a larger trilogy - not three plays dependent on each other but three stand-alone plays connected by theme and, likely, further adventures of the Douaihy family.
The more we as a society make women's sex lives seem like a secret, the more hostile that becomes. Because when you get into that cycle of thinking, no matter what you're doing, you feel shameful about it, because there's no way to talk about it. I think that through talking about it and sharing stories you realize the things you may have felt shameful about are totally normal and totally OK. Everyone's normal in their own way. You can only come to that realization if you're having these conversations, and learning what normal is for other people.
The thing about gay people is that until we come out of the closet, we're always protecting other people: 'I can't do this, because it's gonna hurt so-and-so.' We're trying to live the lives of other people, and that's the worst thing you can do.
Related Authors
Cate Blanchett Quotes
Australian
Actress
Germaine Greer Quotes
Australian
Activist
Gregory David Roberts Quotes
Australian
Author
Hugh Jackman Quotes
Australian
Actor
James Wan Quotes
Australian
Producer
Joel Edgerton Quotes
Australian
Actor
John Flanagan Quotes
Australian
Author
Julian Assange Quotes
Australian
Activist
Markus Zusak Quotes
Australian
Author
Melina Marchetta Quotes
Australian
Writer
Michael Leunig Quotes
Australian
Cartoonist
Nick Cave Quotes
Australian
Musician
Nick Vujicic Quotes
Australian
Priest
Nicole Kidman Quotes
Australian
Actress
Peter Singer Quotes
Australian
Philosopher
Tony Abbott Quotes
Australian
Politician