I was a weak kid, not good at what all the boys at school were good at and I found that by acting, by being other people, I could liberate myself from those inadequacies.
I didn't know what acting school was, so I went onto the computer and typed 'acting school.' I found one in Berlin, and I found ones in Vienna, Zurich, and London. I went to all of those places to audition. You were supposed to have two monologues, and I only had one.
I went to NYU for acting, for six years. I thought acting was the easy way out or in because I didn't put in enough effort in school, being a crazy kid in college. But, I was good at it, so that was the other side of it. I would love to direct. What I've learned from being on set is more how to deal with actors than even the visual part of it all.
There are co-ed schools in Saudi, but those are American or British. My dad, of course, believed in the good old CBSE Indian school system and thus, my younger brother Ishmeet and I were put in an all-boys CBSE school. My mother could move out only if she wore a burkha.
We were good boys, good Presbyterian boys, and loyal and all that; anyway, we were good Presbyterian boys when the weather was doubtful; when it was fair, we did wander a little from the fold.
My dear dad always tried to introduce me to children of his friends, but I just never took to them. Those were the people we were shoved with at school dances, usually Eton boys because it was the cleverest boys' school, and ours was supposed to be the cleverest girls' school.
As a youth, I hated myself for not being good enough. All my inadequacies and failures, not being kind enough, generous or understanding enough, would assail me at night. It became a habit to be guilty and self castigating, not liking myself because I was unworthy... I really tortured myself.
When you get a group of kids together, especially boys, the psychology of those kids requires that they find a weak kid or a sensitive kid or a soft kid.
I was a completely normal kid, the school nerd. In Year 8 and 9 I got picked on. I was a freak- no one understood me. I was the kid who wanted to be abducted by ET. Then all the losers left in Year 10. But I was quite good at school, and very artistic. In Year 11 it turned around. I became one of the coolest kids in school. I was in school musicals- the kid who could sing. It was bizzare. I loved school. It's an amazing little world. The rules inside the school are different from the outside world.
I'm passionate about being true to myself, sending good energy to the people around me, traveling, staying inspired, being a good friend, being a good daughter, being a good sister.
When I started acting, my parents gave me three rules: I had to stay good in school, stay the kid they always knew I was, and I had to have fun. If I wasn't doing those three things, then I couldn't do acting anymore.
The team we had, the Hobie Vita-Pakt Super Surfer team, you know, the Hilton boys were on there, Conrad Hilton's grandkids, and they were really good. After being around those kids, I could ride a little. Do a 360, some kick-turns, stuff like that.
I never thought of myself as being a good songwriter. There are a ton of other people that are good songwriters, but I don't think I'm in the club. What I do well is perform, sometimes sing pretty good, and accompany myself well and arrange fairly well.
I was always the kid at school who thought it was a good idea to set off the fire alarm. And much as I'm aware that that's a trait which also propels other things which are good, I wish I could just pause and go, 'Is this really what you want to do?'
You could really belong to a group of people and with other people, you could really make some significant changes - through the electoral process, of course, by registering people to vote, and by supporting good people who were running for office. For me, it was like I had found the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
I think you have to remember that Americans saw their purpose as so innately good that they could excuse the pain they would inflict on others to carry out those purposes. Because the purposes were so good, they would justify this pain we were inflicting on other people.
When I found skating, it was something that was individual, and it was something that I could focus on being my best. And I loved the whole practice, and I also loved performing. It was probably the first time I felt really good about myself and that I was good at something, because I always liked being athletic.