A Quote by Arca
A lot of me figuring out how to love myself more involves finding the things that I'm ashamed of and looking them right in the eye. And something I always find beautiful about Jesse's work is that he finds beauty without any calculation. People say that his work is dark, but he never sees it as such. For him it's all almost about educating people to process why they feel disgust.
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A lot of me figuring out how to love myself more involves finding the things that I'm ashamed of and looking them right in the eye.
I know I am a human being. I can give myself to one year for a project. That is why I say I'm primitive in the way I work, especially compared to most artists. I came to New York in 1974, knowing that it is the art center of the world. But I didn't go to find people for my work. I do the work, and the people come to me, and I learn from them. That has always been my approach - to do the job first and then to respond to it after I finish and learn what people think about it. That's how I develop, and I'm more of an outsider in that way.
Work begets work. Just work. If you work, people will find out about you and want to work with you if you're good. So work anywhere you can. That's why I've changed my mind about these theatres where people work for free or have to pay money. I think it's kind of terrible that they feel they have to, but you know what? They're working.
The first time I had work in a public space it felt very strange to see people that I didn't know looking and, and presumably commenting on, my work. Nowadays, I'm a bit more fatalistic - they either like the work or they don't and there's not a lot I can do about that. The trick seems to be not to get too pissed on open nights so that I can answer any questions without making a fool of myself. Doesn't always work!
I loved my own Grandparents with all my heart. I learned important lessons from them about how to treat people, how to cook and how to work.....they showered us kids with love and left the parenting to Momma and Daddy. That's the beauty of being a grandparent - the hard work belongs to someone else. I guess I never really understood the depth of their love for me until I became a grandmother myself... it is unlike any other relationship.
How could you feel worthless when God has honoured you by creating you and choosing you to be with Him, in this life and the next? You are worthy. You are worthy of love. You are worthy of respect. You haven't failed. You're beautiful. Only the beautiful can see beauty. Never doubt your beauty. Never doubt your worth. It's not about how much you make, your grades, what people say or think. It's about you and God. It's about your heart. The blinding beauty of your heart.
At AT&T, I learned an awful lot about people, and how important it is to have the right people in the right jobs. And when I say 'right people,' I'm not talking about their college degree or work history; I'm talking about things like bearing - How does this person interact with other people? Can he or she talk to you and not tick you off?
Luck is one thing. It has always been there, it has always been a part of my success. It's a part of everyone's success. Without it, you can't be successful. But luck is something you have to stimulate, something you have to nurture through the choices you make...That's why things have always worked out for me. Things work out not just because I'm lucky, but because I plan ahead. I figure out what I want and I go for it. I've always spent a lot of time trying to surround myself with the right people, the kinds of teammates who could lead me to my goals.
I'm at the point in my career now, where I can take a bit of time to find exactly what roles are that I want to do and not work myself into a corner. I love acting and I love who I'm becoming, as I evolve as a human being. My work is an important part of me, which may or may not be healthy, so I need to do things that I love. I want to tell interesting stories, discover things about myself, and other people. The only way to do that is to not take jobs that feel repetitive or boring to me because then you're stuck doing that job instead of finding the thing that speaks to you.
Whenever people say nice things to me, I think they're just saying them because I'm standing right in front of them. Even when I read articles that say good things about me, I forget about them right away. When I read about people pointing out my flaws, however, I think about them a lot.
You need to reinvent yourself every day when you are doing creative work. I always say that the moment I feel I'm at the top of the mountain and I cannot do more, I would be finished. So that's why I always feel the earth quake beneath my feet. I always feel myself on the fire. Because I think this is something that gives you the right adrenaline to work and go forward in your professional life. I have reinvented myself, believe me, many times in my life!
Both my mom and my dad have always included me in intelligent conversations about people, about characters, about how people work. My dad and my mom still read all scripts that I find interesting. I send them an e-mail, and I'm like, 'Okay, I have my eye on this,' or whatever.
I'm finding things out about myself as a person - as a writer - as I write, and so are the people who listen to what I do. But they have this additional aspect of how they take the stuff that I do, and so it broadens the work and it creates this strange connection. It's really a way of strangers communicating through this third thing, which is a body of work. But really, I know it's a cliché to say I write for myself, but I write for myself.
It's funny. I'm attracted to things that don't have any impact on life. People say I've done a great thing for women. I don't think I have. People say I've given people courage. That makes me feel good, but I don't see how I do that. I think my running is a selfish thing. But it provides the challenge that allows me to feel good about myself. How can I expect to do well in other activities if I don't feel good about myself?
Like most authors, I'm a raging egomaniac. I know that about myself. And I know that, if I had internet access, I would waste countless hours looking up things about myself, writing fake posts about how great I am and arguing with people who don't like my work. It saves me a lot of time and frustration to just stay out of the loop.
Well, I'd say that I'm mostly drawn to people who are genuine and willing to take a step to the unknown. So when I play with these people, usually there's this sense of that 'yes, we are doing it together right at this moment without any agenda' feeling which is so exciting! It means that there is this sense of trust, that whatever I throw in the music that's happening, they will make it work and send something to work with in my direction. Hopefully they feel the same about me.
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