A Quote by Ari Shaffir
When people tell me to do a clean show, I'm like, 'Guys, I don't even understand your thoughts anymore.' What, you can't say a curse word? Nobody thinks that way!
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Do not allow your thoughts to become greater than you. No matter what your thoughts tell you, don't listen. Remember your thoughts are not your friend. Your thoughts try to confound you, confuse you. And they will tell you all kinds of things. Do not listen to your thoughts, even your good thoughts. Transcend everything, go beyond your thoughts to your bliss, to your joy and to your happiness.
Nobody even mentioned the word losing, losing games. We know we've been a losing franchise. He just wanted to say something back like he's always running his mouth. That's what he does. He runs his mouth all the time. Nobody was blaming him for anything. For him to come back at me was a personal attack. I feel that if there is anything that he is unsure about, tell him I would be more than happy to say it in his face, or any kind of other way, that would make him understand.
I'm a big believer that your word is your wand. You know how people say things like, 'Oh my gosh, I'm such an idiot.' I don't say things like that anymore. Those put-downs, even if they're in jest, are little bullets of negativity that you don't need in your life.
When I was young, a lot of the guys could sell themselves to me on the way to the ring with the way they acted and their mannerisms. Guys like Shawn Michaels, who I loved growing up. They were just loud. They didn't even need to say a word because they came out and had this crazy ring gear on.
The coolest thing, too, is that people that have never even seen 'One Tree Hill' tell me, 'I love your music.' And I'm like, 'Oh, do you watch the show?' And they say 'No.' And to me that's even cooler because that means I'm actually starting to get country fans.
Any messages for me?" Usually I got one or two, but mostly people who wanted my help preferred to talk in person. "Yes. Hold on." She pulled out a handful of pink tickets and recited from memory, without checking the paper. "Seven forty-two a.m., Mr. Gasparian: I curse you. I curse your arms so they wither and die and fall off your body. I curse your eyeballs to explode. I curse your feet to swell until blue. I curse your spine to crack. I curse you. I curse you. I curse you.
If a European guy came to Africa and said hey guys, you don't have good - people could tell him to go to hell. You are an imperialist. You are a colonialist. Who are the hell are you to come and tell us what to do? I'm an African. Whatever I say nobody in Africa tell me well, it's not of your business. It is my business.
I have a feeling I'm going to wake up one day and say 'I can't do dirty stuff anymore, I want to go all clean.' I'll do clean stuff too, I like to entertain people. Then they egged me on; we shot it at The Laugh Factory.
There's a place in you that you must keep inviolate. You must keep it pristine. Clean. So that nobody has a right to curse you or treat you badly. Nobody. No mother, father, no wife, no husband, no-nobody. You have to have a place where you say: 'Stop it. Back up. Don't you know I'm a child of God?
So, how do you get back to heaven?
To begin with, just notice the thoughts that take you away from it.
You don't have to believe everything your thoughts tell you.
Just become familiar with the particular thoughts you use
to deprive yourself of happiness.
It may seem strange at first to get to know yourself in this way,
but becoming familiar with your stressful thoughts
will show you the way home to everything you need.
I always tell people, 'Stop coming to me and telling what people are saying about me.' I don't care anymore. I always get the people that come to me and say, 'Girl, I just want to tell you... ' and I'm like, 'Nope.'
I have this thing. I've always been uncomfortable going to any party where people don't understand why I'm there. One of the best things about partaking in a show like this is, when I show up to events and parties now, they know me. I don't have to hear, 'Oh, you're an actor? Have I seen you in anything?' anymore. I used to have to start listing things off of my resume'. It's really nice not to have to do that anymore.
Nobody can tell you to do things a way that you don't want to do them. Nobody can say really what's right or what's wrong. It's like some people don't feed their children meat. Some people do. It's a crazy world.
I used to get letters from guys in prison. Anymore now I don't even open them. They'd ask me to please sign a couple of cards for their children. Then I see them on eBay two weeks later. Or the people that write and say, "You is one of my favorite cartoonists. I would like a drawing, please." I guess they encourage inmates to write letters to celebrities. It's like a way to make money by selling autographs or something. Give me a break.
They are evil people, the press, the media, they are bad people, and nobody, nobody lies like they do. I never like it when they tell me that, and I'm sure they're right, but when people say things that are fabrication - you know, there were fabricated stories made up, these were fabrications. Out of nowhere.
Nobody cares about that. I do have guys every now and then who say - it's always guys by the way, it's never women - who say, "You were my childhood crush, can we date?" And I'm like, "There's something kind of creepy about that. Do you hear yourself?"
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