A Quote by Ari Shaffir

No astronauts look like George Clooney. — © Ari Shaffir
No astronauts look like George Clooney.
George Clooney sort of lost his 'George Clooney-ness' the first day I met him. He's not George Clooney in my eyes - he's George from Kentucky with an awesome, awesome heart.
George Clooney and Fabio apparently got into a scuffle at a restaurant in Los Angeles over the weekend. George thought the women with Fabio were taking pictures of him. How embarrassed is George Clooney to be in a fight with Fabio? Who is he going to call out next, Lorenzo Lamas?
George Clooney, who is a moron, came here to Cannes and gave a press conference saying, 'Under no circumstances will Trump ever be president. Hillary Clinton will be the next president.' Well, we can't wait to make George Clooney eat his words.
I was one of the first to read the 'ER' script and the good news is George Clooney still gives me credit for helping to launch his career. I had George Clooney under contract for four years in a row before 'ER' happened. He's one of the few who remembers the people who helped him.
George Clooney is exactly what you would expect. He's annoyingly good looking, insanely funny, and super smart. So you just feel really inferior around him all the time. You end up feeling really bad about yourself, but you walk away feeling really great about George Clooney.
When I was really young, I loved the movie 'White Christmas' - I still do - and I thought Rosemary Clooney was so pretty. When I was, like, nine, I would tell people, 'You know who I kind of look like? Rosemary Clooney.'
I was like the George Clooney of the ski business.
I meditate, and when I do, Prince Harry appears in my subconscious and meditates with me. It's a little strange but I don't think there's anything I can do about it. Sometimes he's not the only one; the other day it was me, Prince Harry, the Dalai Lama, Mr. Rogers, Coco the gorilla, and George Clooney. We were all floating above the earth looking down at the continents as they passed. George Clooney suggested I visit Providence, Rhode Island. The Dalai Lama sighed deeply and said he'd like to visit Tibet. Poor Dalai Lama.
I love George Clooney; I think George is brilliant.
Nobody pulls a prank like George Clooney.
The consummate gentleman on the planet today is George Clooney, who never fails to go the extra mile for people. Every person matters to George.
I like to refer to myself as 'The George Clooney of the Lane Bryant set.'
I would like to be George Clooney - diplomatic. I just don't have the wherewithal yet or the inner serenity.
I would like to be George Clooney diplomatic. I just don't have the wherewithal yet or the inner serenity.
One day during filming, George Clooney was wearing his surf shirt and board shorts, and my six-year-old daughter was in the background as an extra, playing in the sand - playing herself. She and Clooney suddenly looked equally Hawaiian, equally related to the place I call home.
Bradley Cooper was an asshole, but he was - like Sidney Lumet, like George Clooney - the nicest guy in the world. I sound like the biggest ass-kisser ever. But I'm telling the truth, I swear to God!
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