A Quote by Arj Barker

I could've enjoyed a cigarette if I smoked back before everyone knew it was bad - say, like, 1923. Everybody smoked back then. There was no medical information against it; they had no idea - it was a paradise. It was a smoker's paradise: 'They're taking my lung out next week. I don't know why. Doctor thinks maybe I'm brushing my teeth too often, but I can't help it because, for some reason, my breath smells like I licked a monkey's ass.

Arj Barker

Quote Topics

Against Ass Back Bad Because Before Breath Brushing Cigarette Could Doctor Enjoyed Everybody Everyone Had Help Idea Information Knew Know Like Lung Maybe Medical Monkey Next Next Week No Idea Often Out Paradise Reason Say Smells Smoked Smoker Some Taking Teeth Then Thinks Too Week Why

Quote Author

Arj Barker
American - Comedian
Born: August 12, 1974

Well China, you got us. Phelps was doping - and he still beat you. He smoked the sticky-icky, and then he smoked your ass!

Stephen Colbert

It's a simplification to say that the men [during Stone Age] went to war to maintain their dominance over the women. The men would help dig agricultural ditches because they were superb farmers. That was very heavy lifting work. But then they just preened themselves, and put bird-of-paradise plumes [in their hair], and smoked dope.

Peter Matthiessen

Why were we driven out of Paradise? Why did we fall into this gnawing disease of unappeasable dissatisfaction? Not because we sinned. Ah, no. All the animals in Paradise enjoyed the sensual passion of coition. Not because we sinned. But because we got sex into our head.

D. H. Lawrence

Santa Barbara is a paradise; Disneyland is a paradise; the U.S. is a paradise. Paradise is just paradise. Mournful, monotonous, and superficial though it may be, it is paradise. There is no other.

Jean Baudrillard

The ratings thing is the real issue. It really hurts movies. For example, in Redbelt, I smoked. The whole plot of my character was based on the fact that I was a smoker. And then they discovered that just by having someone smoking in the movie, it immediately makes the rating an R. So they had to cut out every shot where I had a cigarette in my hand and it totally affected the performance. That was very frustrating to David Mamet as well. I can remember him saying, "It's a nightmare."

Emily Mortimer

I think bad breath is... just hard to get past. Someone with just horrible breath, yeah. I'm not talking about just onion breath. I'm talking about you been brushing your teeth and using the mouthwash and it still smells like you've been tongue-kissing the toes of a gorilla - that's horrible.

Paul Wall

I believe that I would not have smoked had I seen a label on a cigarette package or in a cigarette ad that said 'Warning: Cigarette smoking may cause death from heart disease, cancer or emphysema.'

Amanda Blake

My doctor asked me if I smoked, and I said only when I'm working, golfing, or drinking. Then I realized the only time I don't smoke is when I'm home. I didn't even realize I'd become a smoker.

Dennis Franz

If all stories are fiction, fiction can be true -- not in detail or fact, but in some transformed version of feeling. If there is a memory of paradise, paradise can exist, in some other place or country dimensionally reminiscent of our own. The sad stories live there too, but in that country, we know what they mean and why they happened. We make our way back from them, finding the way through a bountiful wilderness we begin to understand. Years are nothing: Story conquers all distance.

Jayne Anne Phillips

Cheese for dessert is rather like Paradise Lost in that everyone thinks he ought to like it, but still you don't notice too many people actually curling up with it.

Peg Bracken

Gentile smoked salmon is all... muscular and smells of smoke. It's not very fatty. They don't understand - smoked salmon should be almost spreadable! So you give them the real stuff and they can't believe how delicious it is.