When I was playing soccer at the age of 14, the first thing we'd do before going out onto the field would be to climb up on one another's thighs and massage the legs; it was a regular thing. None of us had a thought of being gay, absolutely not, and it's the same with most bodybuilders.
If somebody would've told me that I was going to lose my legs at the age of 19, I would've thought there's absolutely no way I'd be able to handle that. But then it happened, and I realized that there's so much more to live for, that my life isn't about my legs.
One of the teams (Tennessee) that jumped us had the same game that we had. They're down, they're playing at home and they win by a field goal. Another team (Florida) that jumped us wasn't even playing. They were home eating cheeseburgers and they end up jumping us. That befuddles me.
I was always really shy. That's why being in front of cameras like this is uncomfortable. I found that when I was a kid, I would hide behind playing pretend. That's when I would come out of my shell. I would dress up as an old man or something and go out onto the street with my mom. I would come out of my shell that way. So I ended up stumbling into acting. It was the one thing that I found a passion for.
Having a baby had always seemed the easiest and most natural thing to do, and I had never felt - even in my most furtive days of coming out - that being gay would mean I could not become a mother.
When I grew up I saw females doing certain things, and I thought I had to do that exactly. The female rappers of my day spoke about sex a lot . . . and I thought that to have the success they got, I would have to represent the same thing. When in fact I didn’t have to represent the same thing.
As I dive between the legs of a big Gunnar, I see Mair wind up and slam her shockstick hard as she can between the V of another guy’s thighs. Falling, he makes a noise that I can’t say I’ve heard a human utter before, sort of like I imagine a puppy would sound being put through a juicer.
I started playing soccer when I was 4 because my sister was doing it. It was my first organized sport, and my parents thought this was a great way to get coordinated and be part of a team. I had an array of options but eventually figured out soccer was best for me.
Around the age of 14, I was very discouraged from a coach. It was my first youth club team while playing soccer. She told me at the time that I wasn't good enough to play on the team, that I would never get into the game.
Most bodybuilders only have a hazy notion of what they want to look like. They do not say, 'I am going to be a winner.' The negative impulses around the gym can be incredible. I would hear bodybuilders complaining, 'Oh,no! Not another set!' That destroyed them. I have always believed that if you're training for nothing, you're wasting your effort!
None of us had any idea of how successful Downton was going to be. I thought I was signing up for another period drama that had a slightly modern feel. It had a freedom about it because it was coming out of the head of Julian Fellowes. Anything could happen and generally did.
Everyone else would climb a peak by looking for a path somewhere in the mountain. Nash would climb another mountain altogether and from that distant peak would shine a searchlight back onto the first peak.
I was gay before I began to play soccer over 40 years ago. It's been 28 years since a friend and I organized one of the first gay soccer teams in the world.
I'm going to go in and play, because the most important thing is playing on the field and being able to contribute. I really am ready.
When I first told people I was writing a book, some would say that was interesting, but others thought it was some holiday project and I would lose interest. I think my parents thought the same thing, and they were surprised when I kept going. I'm not sure I thought I would keep going, but then it became a big part of my life.
The best thing that a coach can have is experience. The first time that you're going out to lead a team on the field, you have certainly thought about what you're going to say, but it gets easier as you go. You'll learn what works and what doesn't, not just about what you do on the field but what you say to players to get them motivated.
I used to be so into soccer. I would wear soccer team hoodies, another soccer team's pants, and Manchester United earrings. And I had, like, five of everything, so I would just wear the same outfit all the time!