A Quote by Arvind Swami
I now have the experience of life and all I've seen. I came in when I was in my twenties and I wasn't prepared to be an actor. Then there was my sabbatical, my accident and I was single-parenting my kids. Your mind expands, you become mature and you feel liberated. I don't care about being conventional. I want to be daring.
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Your agent or manager tells you. They go, "You're out. They're gonna get a new guy." But then I didn't feel bad. I didn't take it personally. Not that I'm competitive at all. But you have pride in that, you know? You want your ratings to be good. But now that I'm 62, I don't really care about the ratings. I don't care about the reviews. I care about the work, and I care about the people that I'm working with, and I try to make the experience for them and myself as good as it can be.
Over the next four days, I want you to write about your deepest emotions and thoughts about the most upsetting experience in your life. Really let go and explore your feelings and thoughts about it. In your writing, you might tie this experience to your childhood, your relationship with your parents, people you have loved or love now or even your career. How is this experience related to who you would like to become, who you have been in the past, or who you are now?.
Kids are a great analogy. You want your kids to grow up, and you don't want your kids to grow up. You want your kids to become independent of you, but it's also a parent's worst nightmare: That they won't need you. It's like the real tragedy of parenting.
I think it's important to let kids be kids and be cautious about accelerated sexuality as pressure to mature too quickly. My hackles go up when I see a teacher making kids feel like they are older, special, mature. Let kids be kids.
Parenting is not giving your child everything they want. Parenting is not being your child's friend. Parenting is about preparing your child to be a useful and respectful person in society.
Is being single hard? It depends where your mind is. If you are focused, being single is an enjoyable experience, but if you hate being alone, you'll hate being single. I think it depends on the individual are where they are in life.
The first idea of Captain Fantastic was a pretty radically different one. The genesis had to do with parenting and questions about parenthood and fatherhood specifically. I have two kids and I was grappling with what my values were and what I wanted to pass to my children. So I was positing different kinds of parents and different ways of parenting. I played with various ideas - very permissive parenting, very restrictive parenting and then I came up with the character of Viggo Mortensen, and much of it was aspirational, some of it was autobiographical.
When I think about it like that, it feels like a burden. But that won't mean I'll be single for the rest of my life - I hope. I feel very settled with myself in my world. I don't feel as needy and desperate to prove things about myself. In my twenties I was very keen to achieve this and disprove this and that. Now I enjoy just being able to concentrate on my children and my work and myself.
Parenting is something that I got early, because when you grow up without a father being there, and you see a single mother struggle to feed the kids, you do not want to put your own blood through that.
As a young actor, there's a very small group of kids, just a handful. As you get older, all of a sudden, there's a bunch of guys your age that work. It's a very different experience when you used to be on the short list because you were young and there's only so many kids that can do the work and then all of a sudden you're in your twenties and thirties and there's a whole bunch of guys that can do your work.
I think to have done 'Titanic' would have been a tortuous experience altogether. I feel good about where my life is, now. I feel free and joyous and happy and more liberated than I have ever been.
Your post-college years should be an exploratory time in your professional life. From your early twenties and on into your early thirties, you should feel free to explore your professional prospects. Keep an open mind, and don't expect to get everything right straight out of the gate. Be prepared to start over once or twice.
Being single is about celebrating and appreciating your own space that you're in. I couldn't have lived alone before. I always needed someone to share my space but now I like being by myself. If I want to be with people then I see my friends; if I want a date then I'll have one.
When you're in your twenties and starting out, the problem is that you care about being cool. Being older, I can care less about being cool, which is a liberating feeling.
When you become so determined that you want to feel good - you have become as your Inner Being is, in such a pure place of Positive Energy - then that which is 'negative energy' simply can't mix with you. It defies Law. If you are very strong and clear about your positive wanting, and feeling it, then 'bad' things simply cannot get in. Colds can't get in, car accidents can't get in, anything that you are not wanting cannot be your personal experience.
As far as co-parenting is concerned, it is easy. You just have to be mature enough to work together, mature enough to keep your professional and personal life apart.
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