A Quote by Augusten Burroughs
I'm like the guy who prepares your taxes or a dentist. I'm very conservative and boring in a lot of ways.
Related Quotes
I went to school for eight years to be a dentist. Sorry if the person in the fifth row doesn't like it and thinks I should be a bag guy because people hate the dentist. People might not like the dentist, but they do like people who chase their dreams.
My dear Algy, you talk exactly as if you were a dentist. It is very vulgar to talk like a dentist when one isn't a dentist. It produces false impression
The clothes do not match my personality. I'm more of a very conservative, blue-blazer kind of guy. But as far as my personality, it's a lot of hot-dog mustard - have a lot of a fun and a lot of excitement. I feel like I'm 68; I act like I'm 12, talking about a game of basketball.
I guess there's nothing funny about a guy who looks conservative and has it all together, but it's satisfying to see a conservative guy crumbling inside, and I think a lot of American comedy has cottoned on to that.
The government taxes you when you bring home a paycheck.
It taxes you when you make a phone call.
It taxes you when you turn on a light.
It taxes you when you sell a stock.
It taxes you when you fill your car with gas.
It taxes you when you ride a plane.
It taxes you when you get married.
Then it taxes you when you die.
This is taxual insanity and it must end.
It is not like the white Republican, the conservative, who clears it up for you and says, "I don't like you", to your face and then you know immediately he is an antagonist. Racism operates in a lot of ways, and so I live it every day.
When you say the tax system benefits the rich, there are a lot of people who respond, "That can't be true, look at the rate of tax. The people who are rich pay a higher rate than you or I." Well, yeah, but if you don't have to pay taxes on a lot of your income, then your real tax rate is a lot lower. And if you're allowed to pay your taxes thirty years from now instead of today then you're a lot better off. People need to have a sophisticated understanding of how the system works to appreciate that the posted tax rate really has very little to do with the taxes people pay.
I think the reason why I'm so alluring to networks is because on the surface I'm like a quintessential relatable, boring white guy. A great many sitcoms have been anchored by a boring white guy, so I feel like what they want to mine from me are my more generic qualities.
Look, I'm a conservative, I'm a very conservative guy, and - and the Trump campaign is making your job over at NBC really, really, really easy in terms of going after conservatives and Republicans if he's the standard bearer for conservatism.
Waiting in line for something mundane is very boring. Waiting for my doctor to see me and waiting for my dentist to see me, yes, that is boring.
Every time I go to the dentist they say, 'You really need to fix that gap of yours'. I'm like, 'My gap is paying your dentist bills.'
A lot of people in the western world don't realize how much taxes limit their options. You can end up paying almost half your income in taxes, which basically means you're working for the government for 180 days a year. I think I can find better ways to use the money I make for the benefit of society.
Very good training to just be a person is growing up in Canada. People say a lot of things about Canada, like that it's boring, but if you look around the world, you can praise boring. It's a very civilized place to grow up. I'm very proud of it.
It takes a very long time to read a script. I'll look at a script, but there are so many scripts. I remember once being at the dentist, and the guy was doing my teeth and telling me about the screenplay he'd written and he said, "Will you read it?" And I said "Oh...okay." And it turns out that it was about a dentist!
I like John McCain, or he seems like a cool guy in a lot of ways. I don't agree with a lot of his policies, but he still seems like a cool guy.
Between income taxes and employment taxes, capital gains taxes, estate taxes, corporate taxes, property taxes, Social Security taxes, we're being taxed to death.
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