A Quote by Ava Max
It was very tough to get people to believe in my project. Everyone had their own ideas, and they wanted to mold me into something I wasn't.
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I was finding it very difficult to find a label that understood what I wanted to do and really believed that people wanted to hear something honest and a little bit different. So, I did feel a bit like a clown. You're knocking on everyone's door trying to get them to believe what you're doing.
For me, everything is still possible and I am as determined as ever. I believe first that the project of a people does not die. It is the project of freedom for a people, it is a project of sovereignty. And since the nation exists, it has the right to its own state. I will work to advance it in that direction.
I believe in preparation. As you already know we had to deal with many crews, 2 cameras. Also as I said we had to get many different actors because they tried to tamper with the project. I just liked doing the movie how I envisioned it. I wanted it to be my own.
All I wanted was to live a life where I could be me, and be okay with that. I had no need for material possessions, money or even close friends with me on my journey. I never understood people very well anyway, and they never seemed to understand me very well either. All I wanted was my art and the chance to be the creator of my own world, my own reality. I wanted the open road and new beginnings every day.
I had also wanted to work with Aaron McGruder for a long time and there were a few other people on the project that I really wanted to work with,so it seems like a miracle of a project ['Black Jesus'] was handed to me.
All my life I had lived on the presumption that there was no existence beyond... flesh, the moment of being alive... then nothing. I had searched in superstition... But there was nothing. Then I heard the sound of my own life leaving me. It was so... tender. I regretted that I had paid it no attention. Then I believed in the wisdom of what other men had found before me... I saw that those simple things might be true... I never wanted to believe in them because it was better to fight my own battle. You can believe in something without compromising the burden of your own existence.
Walt had a seat-of-the-pants approach on what he wanted musically. We kind of 'read' the boss and had a very high batting average, but there were occasions when he felt we had just written the wrong piece for the situation he wanted. We invariably listened to what he wanted - he was very descriptive in what he wanted and we could read him. We'd go back to the drawing board and work out what he wanted. He was a great inspiration, but a tough taskmaster.
...I knew I wanted to be permanently self-supporting and I vaguely thought I might work somewhere in the realm of ideas. I felt that I had within me an undeveloped fount of ideas. I did not know exactly what my ideas were, but whatever they were I wanted to convert people to them.
Everybody gave 100%. I mean everyone, because they all knew that the film had the bones and the heartbeat of something that could be good. And everyone was in on it and wanted it for me and wanted it for Roger and Beau.
Everyone has their own battles, people feel bad all the time for different reasons. For me it was feeling depressed, anxious and out of place. But I wanted to give people something that could sit with them on their own personal level.
He named me. He liked the sound of it. And I said, well, all right. I felt a little odd about it. I don't understand all that name changing business anyway... No, he felt that Lauren Bacall was better sounding than Betty Bacall. He had a vision of his own. He was a svengali. He wanted to mold me. He wanted to control me. And he did until Mr. Bogart got involved.
I never had a lot of ideas. I always have exactly one that is the next project; the idea of a project beyond that project is ludicrous.
The project of organizing a democratic political movement entails the hope that one's ideas and beliefs are not merely idiosyncratic but speak to vital human needs, interests and desires, and therefore will be persuasive to many and ultimately most people. But this is a very different matter from deciding to put forward only those ideas presumed (accurately or not) to be compatible with what most people already believe.
You're the hero of your own story. I had let go of my own story from my own childhood and whatever anger I had and I began to see it from a very different place. It's really easy to be like "This thing happened to me! Look what they did to me or are doing to me." These are such powerful ideas and it's so easy to hold onto them forever. When I let go of those ideas it was easier to see my childhood from different points of view.
Earwolf had approached me a long time ago, even before I had started the 'Pod F. Tompkast.' I knew that I wanted to do a podcast, and I knew everyone there and that it was something for me to do, but I didn't know quite what I wanted to do yet.
It was very tough with Madonna at the beginning of the meeting because I was very embarrassed. But I'm a strong woman who knows what I want and what I'm doing, and I think that when you have very clear ideas in your life, you can have conversations with everyone.
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