A Quote by Ayn Rand
Have you ever felt the longing for someone you could admire? For something, not to look down at, but up to?
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Longing is the fullest sense of desire; it's the most deeply felt kind of desire. I think the most interesting artwork comes out of some sense of longing. It could be called dissatisfaction; it could be called distance. There are many kinds of wanting to get closer to something else, whether that is an idea, a body, a place. Longing is also one of the conditions people approach reading, visual art, or music with - it's to satisfy that sense of longing. It's part of my job, on some level, to grapple with that notion.
There is a German word, Sehnsucht, which has no English equivalent; it means 'the longing for something'. It has Romantic and mystical connotations; C.S. Lewis defined it as the 'inconsolable longing' in the human heart for 'we know not what'. It seems rather German to be able to specify the unspecifiable. The longing for something - or, in our case, for someone.
I felt like someone had ripped my heart out and tossed it across the other side of the room. There was a burning, agonizing pain in my chest, and I had no idea how it could ever be filled. It was one thing to accept that I couldn't have Dimitri. It was something entirely different to realize someone else could.
As a kid, I just felt like I didn't really have anyone to look up to that I felt like I could really relate to, someone that was out and gay and also competing in sports and finding success.
Everyone is happier if they have someone else to look down on, as well as someone to look up to, especially if they resent both.
I immediately felt welcomed, whereas in Massachusetts, I'd grown up there but I felt like such an outsider. Within a week or two of moving to Philly I felt there was something I could be a part of.
Envy someone an' it pulls you down. Admire them and it builds you up. Which makes more sense?
There's something about breaking up with someone - you just look hotter than you ever did before.
I want men to admire me, but that's a trick you learn at school--a movement of the eyes, a tone of voice, a touch of the hand on the shoulder or the head. If they think you admire them, they will admire you because of your good taste, and when they admire you, you have an illusion for a moment that there's something to admire.
I felt I was immortal. I was invincible. I've made so many plays where guys go down, and I walked up clean from it. I did feel that nothing bad could ever happen to me on the court.
I can walk into someone's house, kiss their wife, sit down at their table, and eat their dinner. I can lift a passport at an airport, and in twenty minutes it will seem like it's mine. I can be a blackbird staring in the window. I can be a cat creeping along a ledge. I can go anywhere I want and do the worst things I can imagine, with nothing to ever connect me to those crimes. Today I look like me, but tomorrow I could look like you. I could be you.
I look at my sons' little faces, and I want to be their superhero. I don't want them to have to look outside to a third party for a hero, for someone to look up to and admire. I want that to be ME. I want that person to be MOMMY for them.
After my final Breaking Dawn scene, I felt like I could shoot up into the night sky and every pore of my body would shoot light. I felt lighter than I've ever felt in my life.
When someone is looking down, they're saying no. When they're looking up, they're looking to their brain for memory. When they look to the left, they're looking for a lie or something they memorized. When they look to the right, they're feeling sorry - they don't want to answer.
How hard it is for people to live without someone to look down upon-really to look down upon. It is not just that they feel cheated out of someone to hate. It is that they are compelled to look more closely into themselves and what they don't like about themselves.
At 10, I could walk down the street and see over everybody's head. I don't remember being little or having to look up at people. I think I was born 5 feet 10. It's not that I felt especially tall. I was wondering when everybody else was going to catch up.
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