A Quote by Benjamin Clementine
Now I'm standing in front of a thousand people. They're all looking at me, but they're sitting down. They're surrendered, so I have to keep on proving myself to them and giving them all my passion.
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There's nothing more vulnerable than just standing in front of a thousand people, or ten thousand people, and doing your best to entertain them, touch them in some way.
It's in the silence that I'm most able to hear the tiny voices that tell me I'm not good enough, smart enough, or cool enough. I try to hear them for what they are: my own creations. Sitting with them, letting them speak, hearing them out, and giving them back the silence that I'm now sitting in has shown me that, quite often, they shut up.
Growing up, all I saw was my parents trying to be the best people they could be, and people coming to them for wisdom, coming to them for guidance, and them not putting themselves on a pedestal, but literally being face-to-face with these people and saying, "I'm no better than you, but the fact that you're coming to me to reach some sort of enlightenment or to shine a light on something, that makes me feel love and gratitude for you." They always give back what people give to them. And sometimes they keep giving and giving and giving.
There were signs. Probably more of them than I ever caught, even after the fact. But I missed them all. Maybe because I wasn’t looking for them. I was too busy checking over my shoulder at the fire I’d just come through to pay much attention to the thousand-foot cliff looming in front of me.
As a former English major, I am a sitting duck for Gift Books, and in the past few years I've gotten Dickens, Thackeray, Smollet, Richardson, Emerson, Keats, Boswell and the Brontes, all of them Great, none of them ever read by me, all of them now on a shelf, looking at me and making me feel guilty.
I stalk certain words... I catch them in mid-flight, as they buzz past, I trap them, clean them, peel them, I set myself in front of the dish, they have a crystalline texture to me, vibrant, ivory, vegetable, oily, like fruit, like algae, like agates, like olives... I stir them, I shake them, I drink them, I gulp them down, I mash them, I garnish them... I leave them in my poem like stalactites, like slivers of polished wood, like coals, like pickings from a shipwreck, gifts from the waves... Everything exists in the word.
I'm just going to keep doing what I'm doing. Keep proving people wrong and proving myself right.
So I feel now very much like a guardian. I'm standing in front of art. I'm standing in front of cinema. I'm standing in front of Black culture. I'm standing in front of the history of America, and I'm protecting it by making art, by protecting our art, and by promoting our art.
The prostitutes worked for a pimp now. He was splendid and cruel. He was a god to them. He took their free will away from them, which was perfectly all right. They didn't want it anyway. It was as though they had surrendered themselves to Jesus, for instance, so they could live unselfishly and trustingly-except that they had surrendered to a pimp instead.
I was a bit nervous when I first entered the Indian dressing room. Some of the players sitting out there had 10 years of experience and were sitting in front of me. But then Virat Kohli and Ravi Shastri told me that there are no seniors or juniors in the team. So I could open up to them easily and irritate them with my questions.
Leaders set a very clear path every day, in a thousand different ways, of what the people must attend to, inhibit, and keep it current in front of them.
Guys don't go for me. Period. I don't distract them. They don't sneak glances in my direction. They don't think of me when I'm not standing right in front of them. I'm scenery. I'm background.
Birth order effects are like those things that you think you see out of the corner of your eye but that disappear when you look at them closely. They do keep turning up but only because people keep looking for them and keep analyzing and reanalyzing their data until they find them.
For me, the passion of being an astronaut was ignited at an early age. I have this recollection of looking at a picture of the Apollo program - Neil Armstrong standing on the Moon - then looking at the night sky and realizing that, right where I was looking, people stood and looked back at the Earth. Even as a fairly young child, that was not lost on me, and it inspired me to pursue my dream. I didn't know if I would ever become an astronaut, of course, and the odds are not in your favour, but I just kept it in the back of my mind and tried to keep those options open.
Whenever people say nice things to me, I think they're just saying them because I'm standing right in front of them. Even when I read articles that say good things about me, I forget about them right away. When I read about people pointing out my flaws, however, I think about them a lot.
Typically, in a live-action format, when you watch a wrestling show, you've got wrestlers in a ring in front of a thousand, five thousand, ten thousand people, and they're playing to large crowd, so you never really get that intimate, close and personal dialogue with them.
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