A Quote by Bernard Manning

I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.

Bernard Manning

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Christmas Batteries Bought Included Kids Note Once Saying Set Toys

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Bernard Manning
British - Comedian
Born: August 13, 1931

I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.

Steven Wright

I recently went to the hardware store and I bought some used paint... it was in a shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. So I had to buy them again.

Steven Wright

Mums and dads, if you've bought something that needs putting together, do it before Christmas. When the kids have gone to bed, do a little bit every night. Then on Christmas morning, they can actually play, rather than standing over your shoulder, saying: 'Is it done yet?'

Phillip Schofield

For Christmas the just came out with a battery-operated battery. But the batteries aren't included.

Milton Berle

I noticed that there are no B batteries. I think that's to avoid confusion, cause if there were you wouldn't know if someone was stuttering. 'Yes, hello I'd like some b-batteries.' 'What kind?' 'B-batteries.' 'What kind?' 'B-batteries!' and D-batteries that's hard for foreigners. 'Yes, I would like de batteries.'

Demetri Martin

I bought my mum a car, and I bought my brother one of those hoverboards for Christmas, and I bought my family a holiday to Australia.

Russell Howard

Give children toys that are powered by their imagination, not by batteries.

H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

This is our lance. See, you're making me laugh about this now, because there have been a few jokes on the set about what they actually look like. But, see, I personally think they'd be a great toy. So... just batteries aren't included.

Kevin Sorbo

The way my family always did Christmas was on Christmas Eve, it wasn't really centered around a dinner on Christmas Eve. It was more about keeping the kids calm. Sometime after dark is when we were going to open all the presents underneath the tree from Mom, Dad and the kids and everything - just the family presents was every Christmas Eve.

Blake Shelton

The price of Christmas toys is outrageous - a hundred dollars, two hundred dollars for video games for the youngsters. I remember a Christmas years ago when my son was a kid. I bought him a tank. It was about a hundred dollars, a lot of money in those days. It was the kind of tank you could actually get inside and ride in. He played in the box it came in. It taught me a very valuable lesson. Next year he got a box. And I got a hundred dollars' worth of scotch.

Johnny Carson

Eventually, my dad bought me a guitar for Christmas, and then I just went from there, man. I bought a drum kit a few years later and bought a bass, started producing, started singing.

Tom Walker

I was lucky enough to grow up in a home where I woke up Christmas morning and had toys. I know that's not the case with all people and I don't think kids should go without experiencing that sort of joy.

Lucy Hale

For Christmas one year I bought my son a BB gun. He bought me a t-shirt with a bulls eye on the back.

Rodney Dangerfield

Women, in order to recharge their batteries, gather in groups. They can recharge their batteries with their sisters. I tend to recharge my batteries in solitude, therefore the motorcycle trips. I need to be alone. As a matter of fact, I have to be careful. I could turn into a hermit.

William H. Macy

Toys are made in heaven, batteries are made in hell.

Tom Robbins

Don't bring your sand toys to the park. That's another bad move. Because I go to the park, and I'm on the Vicodin and a little weed too - let's face it - and I go in there, and my wife's like, 'Bring the sand toys! Bring the sand toys!' And I know what happens every single time: I become sand toy repo man from the eight little kids that run off in nine different directions with my sand toys.

Al Madrigal

A Quote by Bernard Manning

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