A Quote by Bill Engvall
A condom is a rubber thing shaped like a wiener that hums.
Related Quotes
The most embarrassing one is that I had no idea - and please excuse me - that you guys call a condom a rubber. My version of a rubber is an eraser. I've done that - very loudly asked for a rubber and people have given me strange looks. That was embarrassing!
I have this rubber band that I have all the time on my wrist, and sometimes when I get nervous or anxious, I'll do this twiddle thing with my finger and I'll snap the rubber band. A lot of people use rubber bands to cope with things like anxiety and depression and addiction.
If I could be the "condom queen" and get every young person who engaged in sex to use a condom in the United States, I would weara crown on my head with a condom on it! I would!
Have you ever heard of a condom? Don't Carpathians have condoms? Because I'm thinking that if you're all that worried, a condom might be just the thing." His smile was slow in coming. "I had not thought of that. As a rule Carpathians do not need such things.
The second time I was pregnant friends would give me rubber bands to gnaw, because the first time, I had chewed things like a rubber bit that fell off the dishwasher. I remember driving once in the rain and the smell of my rubber-soled shoes in the damp caused me to pull over and start chomping on the rubber mat.
The condom has saved so many lives, and it'll save so many more lives. We really owe a great deal to the rubber tree.
The condom has saved so many lives and it'll save so many more lives. We really owe a great deal to the rubber tree.
Sometimes, when you get a girl pregnant, you blame the condom. His condom broke that night.
Every man prefers to look at a well-shaped woman instead of a rubber ball.
I grew up in Austria, and for me real comfort food is Wiener Schnitzel. Wiener Schnitzel and mashed potatoes because it reminds me of my youth... It reminds me when I grow up and it feels very comforting.
The crazy thing is, I never knew that a wiener could actually make me nauseous.
I had been thinking about rubber all along. Like as the novel's element, or base material. A lot of artists in the late '60s and early '70s worked with rubber and other forms that seemed like they connoted industrial detritus. Robert Morris, Eva Hesse.
The worst thing I ever wore, really, was rubber pants, but I don't think that was a cliche. They were just way too hot. Rubber doesn't breathe. I look back on my photos, and I dig them. I think I look really cool.
I don't wanna be shaped like a girl. I love being shaped like a woman, and trust me ladies, your man won't mind either.
I used to get a lot of rubber ducks on my birthdays as presents because, you know, I make rubber ducks. But then I get the ugliest ones with a neck, ugly colors, and devil ears. I don't like those.
Isn't it god's own image? tramping his thirty miles a day
after partridges, or a little rubber ball?
wouldn't you like to be like that, well off, and quite the thing?
Related Authors
Bill Maher Quotes
American
Comedian
Craig Ferguson Quotes
Scottish
Comedian
David Letterman Quotes
American
Comedian
Demetri Martin Quotes
American
Comedian
Ellen DeGeneres Quotes
American
Comedian
George Carlin Quotes
American
Comedian
Jay Leno Quotes
American
Comedian
Jim Gaffigan Quotes
American
Comedian
Jimmy Fallon Quotes
American
Comedian
Joan Rivers Quotes
American
Comedian
Mitch Hedberg Quotes
American
Comedian
P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
American
Comedian
Robin Williams Quotes
American
Comedian
Rodney Dangerfield Quotes
American
Comedian
Stephen Colbert Quotes
American
Comedian
Steven Wright Quotes
American
Comedian