A Quote by Bill Maher

There are only three ways a congressman goes out: They die in office, they cash in as a lobbyist, or they mistakenly tweet a picture of their d*ck.

Bill Maher

Quote Topics

Cash Congressman Die Goes Office Only Out Picture Three Three Ways Tweet Ways

Quote Author

Bill Maher
American - Comedian
Born: January 20, 1956

As a lobbyist, I was completely against term limits, and I know a lot of people are against term limits, and I was one of the leaders, because why? As a lobbyist, once you buy a congressional office, you don't have to re-buy that office in six years, right?

Jack Abramoff

My four years as governor, I never met with a lobbyist once, never. Not one lobbyist got in my office.

Jesse Ventura

Oops, I said on my d-ck. I aint really mean to say on my d-ck. But since we talking about my d-ck, all of you haters say hi to it.

Lil Wayne

I was also a congressman. I had decided to run for office and had become a congressman with Queen Latifah.

Rob Reiner

It should scare every voter in the 5th District that a powerful D.C. lobbyist is trying to install a personal congressman in our part of Connecticut.

Elizabeth Esty

A congressman from Texas sent out a tweet comparing President Obama to Hitler. That is ridiculous because at this point in his career Hitler had a much higher approval rating.

Conan O'Brien

If you ever plan to run for office, if you're a teenager, remember everything you do, every tweet, every Facebook posting, every picture you put on Instagram will be there forever for journalists and politicians - for your competition to dig up.

Rick Smolan

Everyone's going to have a racist tweet, a homophobic tweet, a xenophobic tweet, a misogynist tweet. Everyone's going to have a tweet or a post or something that's not going to be ideal, and because of that, you can't really throw stones too hard at the people that do, because if we examined your life in every way, shape, or form, went through every single post with a fine-toothed comb and under that microscope, would it come out all sunshine and lollipops?

Brad Williams

Went to get coffee today-opened my change purse. Sea shells fell out. Barista goes "Sorry, we only take cash or credit." So there's that.

Taylor Swift

If we don't throw Obama out of office, soon, and there's every reason to throw him out of office, preemptively; he deserves to be thrown out of office! Not only for his sake, but for the sake of our people in the United States.

Lyndon LaRouche

There are often days when I've sat down in my office for hours and prepped for a show knowing, three minutes before I go on, some big crazy thing happens where everything is thrown out, and the teleprompter goes blank.

Brooke Baldwin

Johnny Cash has only passed into the greater light. He will only become more important in this industry as time goes by.

Dolly Parton

Some things you forget. Other things you never do. But it's not. Places, places are still there. If a house burns down, it's gone, but the place--the picture of it--stays, and not just in my remory, but out there, in the world. What I remember is a picture floating around out there outside my head. I mean, even if I don't think if, even if I die, the picture of what I did, or knew, or saw is still out there. Right in the place where it happened.

Toni Morrison

I tweet when the tweet arrives. Never force a tweet or you will hurt your babymaker - and this is true of literature as well.

Patricia Lockwood

It's so exciting to be able to talk about Office 365. I can only describe what Office 365 is in sort of two words. You could say technically it's three words. But Office 365, ladies and gentlemen, is nothing but a Google butt-kicker, that's all it is.