A Quote by Bill Maher

It's so childish, "greatest country in the world." It's like saying, "I have the greatest wife in the world. Not just the one best suited for me, the greatest wife in the world. And if you could have my wife, you'd kill your wife."
What you have is Mitt Romney running around the country saying 'Well, you know, my wife tells me that what women really care about are economic issues, and when I listen to my wife, that's what I'm hearing.' Guess what? His wife has actually never worked a day in her life.
Were I to make the announcement and to run, the reasons I would run is because I have a great belief in this country [America]. ... There's more natural resources than any nation in the world; the greatest education population in the world; the greatest technology of any country in the world; the greatest capacity for innovation in the world; and the greatest political system in the world.
The very greatest genius, after all, is not the greatest thing in the world, any more than the greatest city in the world is the country or the sky. It is the concentration of some of its greatest powers, but it is not the greatest diffusion of its might. It is not the habit of its success, the stability of its sereneness.
What is the most profitable? Fellowship with the good. What is the worst thing in the world? The society of evil men. What is the greatest loss? Failure in one?s duty. Where is the greatest peace? In truth and righteousness. Who is the hero? The man who subdues his senses. Who is the best beloved? The faithful wife. What is wealth? Knowledge. What is the most perfect happiness? Staying at home.
My wife was my greatest asset. I didn't marry her until after World War II, but she has complemented me in every job I've ever had
My wife was my greatest asset. I didn't marry her until after World War II, but she has complemented me in every job I've ever had.
I always wondered if you clone your wife and have the cloned wife on the moon and the real wife down here, would that be considered cheating?
Don't be bitter. Remember Lot's wife when they kill me, and they surely will. You have to use all of your energy to do what it is you have to do. [To his wife Betty Shabazz]
There are worse things than finding your wife and child dead. You can watch the world do it. You can watch your wife get old and bored. You can watch your kids discover everything in the world you've tried to save them from. Drugs, divorce, conformity, disease. All the nice clean books, music, television. Distraction.
As I've explained to my wife many times, you have to kill your wife or mistress to get on the front page of the papers.
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
My wife and I had an argument last week that was so stupid, that it bears repeating. My wife collects twist ties...welcome to my world.
I hurt my wife, my kids, my mother, my wife's family, my friends, my foundation and kids all around the world who admired me.
As for my wife, I would you had her spirit in such another; The third o' th' world is yours, which with a snaffle You may pace easy, but not such a wife.
I love women. I'm crazy about them. I have a beautiful wife, who's the greatest thing that's ever happened to me, and I teach my son to respect women and other people's position in the world, whatever it is.
Unfortunately, everyone thought that Teri Hatcher was my wife. Matter of fact, I would be with my wife, holding my wife's hand at a football game, and someone would come up to me and say, 'Hey, I love those commercials you do with your wife.' My kids almost had shirts made up that said, 'Teri Hatcher is not my mom.'
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