A Quote by Billy Burke
I'm not a guy who has ever seen the inside of a gym.
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I have never seen anyone at CNN ever say, 'Boy, here's how we're going to deal with this today to put this guy down and elevate this guy up.' I've never seen it.
A lot of times I go to the gym and I see people and they don't know how to work out. There's no routine or anything like that. I saw a guy who I haven't seen in five years and the guy looks the same as he did five years ago.
On the most Scottish thing he'd ever seen: I was going through a town called Bathgate at around 11 o'clock at night. And there was a guy leaning and pissing against a front door. He then took out his keys and went inside.
I'm the guy who'll drive 250 miles tonight and be at the gym tomorrow at 10 A.M., when people are still sleeping in. I'm the guy who'll fly to Australia and find a gym. Fly back and first thing I do off the plane is work out before I shower or eat.
I've never seen any character I've ever played as a bad guy or a good guy.
I'm a guy who comes home: I'll play outside, go to this gym, that gym, see all these guys.
If you've ever been in a bar with a bunch of old sailors and see a guy that has an eagle tattooed across his chest, that guy has seen some stuff.
If you see me performing, you're going, that guy is simply the most extroverted guy I've ever seen. But if you've seen me very often on a daily basis and all the while growing up, I was very, very introverted. Very introverted. So I have sort of the extremes of both of those characteristics.
If any of you have seen my shows, you know that I don't skimp on them and the same is true for the gym. We spend what it takes to make a globally first-class gym.
Im the guy wholl drive 250 miles tonight and be at the gym tomorrow at 10 A.M., when people are still sleeping in. Im the guy wholl fly to Australia and find a gym. Fly back and first thing I do off the plane is work out before I shower or eat.
I've sat in sushi bars, really fine ones, and I know how hard this guy worked, how proud he is. I know you don't need sauce. I know he doesn't even want you to pour sauce. And I've seen customers come in and do that, and I've seen him, as stoic as he tries to remain, I've seen him die a little inside.
I'm the guy who will persist in his path. I'm the guy who will make you laugh. I'm the guy who strives to be open. I'm the guy who's been heartbroken. I'm the guy who has been on his own, and I'm the guy who's felt alone. I'm the guy who holds your hand, and I'm the guy who will stand up and be a man. I'm the guy who tries to make things better. I'm the guy who's the whitest half Cuban ever. I'm the guy who's lost more than he's won. I'm the guy who's turn, but never spun. I'm the guy you couldn't see. I'm that guy, and that guy is me.
Luckily inside, I feel like an 18-year-old, with the spirit inside me as adventurous and young as it ever was. I still have wide-eyed wonder about the amazing things I've seen, in an extraordinary life travelling all over the world for my career.
Paul Heyman has known my family from before I was even born. He's seen me as a little guy, he's seen me as a medium guy, and now he's seen me full-grown and competing on the same level.
Have you ever seen a one trick pony in the field so happy and free? If you've ever seen a one trick pony then you've seen me Have you ever seen a one-legged dog making his way down the street? If you've ever seen a one-legged dog then you've seen me.
I was in Antwerp - which, I had about 20 shows left at that point - and a guy said, "That's Dave Attell's." Also, Antwerp was my smallest audience, so the guy was right there. I was like, "What?" He said, "Dave Attell does a bit about, 'Why are there luggage stores in the airport?'" I had never seen that, and I would never ever, ever, ever - please believe me - I would never lift material from somebody ever, and certainly not knowingly.
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