A Quote by Billy Crystal
President Clinton knew the course and goes, 'Here's what you want to do here.' By the fourth hole, you wanted to hit him with your putter.
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Bin Laden was once targeted by President Clinton. President Clinton wanted to kill him but couldn't get him. Of course not, we all know what kind of aim Clinton has.
Of course there's a backlash. Of course. Look, half the country voted for Donald Trump. But I think one of the things that we try to do on Update is we try to hit him on the facts. If Hillary Clinton was President we would be making fun of her just as much. We're not trying to be right, we're not trying to be wrong, we're trying to be funny.
The putter looks like a bunch of nuts and bolts welded together, but the ball goes in the hole.
I'm sure you have a hole at your course where you love to hit the tee shot. You can't wait to get up there and bomb away because the fairway is wide, or the hole always plays downwind.
And I keep saying, whether you like the president or not, everybody has to pull together and help the president because, as the president goes, so goes the country, as the country goes, so goes your job, your ability to feed your family, your government.
I've never been one to throw clubs, break clubs, or use bad language on the golf course. I've played with golfers who've done that, and I really hate to see it. If I did something like that, my dad would come get the putter and hit me upside the head with it. I knew better.
Bill Clinton wanted to survive. And Bill Clinton wanted to thrive, not just for himself, although that's primarily what drives Bill Clinton. He's a classic narcissist. So of course he wanted to thrive and succeed. But he also wanted America to thrive and succeed, which is why he worked with a Republican Congress.
I realize that's why we play golf, to hit the ball into the hole. But it is a strange feeling when you hit the shot and it actually goes in.
I don't hit it very far; I don't overpower a golf course, but I think I'm a pretty decent putter. At Augusta National, putting is premium.
You had two men who knew the exact same thing, which is Russia did meddle in the elections. I think President Trump wanted to make sure that President Putin was aware that he was acknowledging it, that he knew it. I think President Putin did what we all expected him to do, which was deny it.
With Bill Clinton, his lawyers always wanted him to say nothing about the Lewinsky scandal. Defendant Clinton had the right to remain silent. But President Clinton had a completely different need - political survival. That meant, in the end, that he needed to trumpet his supposed innocence and talk publicly to the American people.
When the passer's back foot hit the ground on his setup, I wanted the ball gone. If no one was open, if he had to buy time, I wanted him to bounce in place. And then I only wanted him scrambling as a last resort. When you bounce, you maintain your balance. When you start moving, you create an unnatural position for yourself. I want everything to be natural.
I will fall in love with any golf course that you have to drive the ball straight. You understand what I'm saying? That's my advantage. My advantage wasn't putting. In fact, I wasn't even a great putter or a good putter.
God is, of course, a terrifying reality. I had thought that I knew all about God, and had Him in a pigeon hole. But I met Him at the corner of a street -- He entered my mind with a bang, and nearly burst my head open.
We actually flattened my putter 1.5 degrees. I have a long-neck putter and it was weird because they flattened it, but it got my hands more vertical and into the position I wanted them to be in.
I won't play an 18-hole practice round unless I'm playing for something. That goes for when I'm at home, too. It doesn't have to be for much, but it has to be for something, because I want to hit every shot like it matters.
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