A Quote by Bo Burnham

I masturbate 'cause I'm the only one whose standards are low enough to f-k me.

Bo Burnham

Quote Topics

Cause Enough Low Me Only Standards Whose

Quote Author

Bo Burnham
American - Comedian
Born: August 21, 1990

One does not avoid incompetence if one makes an attempt whose likelihood of success is too low. This seems little more than analytic: when the performance is in a domain that imposes standards of risk, attempts may or may not meet such standards. And the relevant competence of agents then includes reliably enough meeting those standards.

Ernest Sosa

There is no such thing as writer's block for writers whose standards are low enough.

William Stafford

High personal standards aren't enough for organizational excellence. You've got to be intolerant of low standards in others. . . . If you accommodate questionable practices in others who touch your organization, you risk soiling its reputation. Anybody whose hands aren't clean can get the place dirty.

Price Pritchett

Crafty politician that he is, Obama was smart enough to set low enough standards for his administration to claim 'victory' by the summer of 2011 or so.

Thomas P.M. Barnett

If I want low-impact aerobics, I'll masturbate. If I want high-impact aerobics, I'll masturbate again.

Dennis Miller

Only the mediocre are always at their best. If your standards are low, it is easy to meet those standards every single day, every single year. But if your standard is to be the best, there will be days when you fall short of that goal. It is okay to not win every game. The only problem would be if you allow a loss or a failure to change your standards. Keep your standards intact, keep the bar set high, and continue to try your very best every day to meet those standards. If you do that, you can always be proud of the work that you do.

Mike Krzyzewski

No one can tell me what is a good cigar--for me. I am the only judge... There are no standards--no real standards. Each man's preference is the only standard for him, the only one which he can accept, the only one which can command him.

Mark Twain

Now I'm not making love to anyone's wishes, Only for that light I see 'Cause when I'm dead and lowered low in my grave, That's gonna be the only thing that's left of me.

Cat Stevens

Poise the cause in justice's equal scales, Whose beam stands sure, whose rightful cause prevails.

William Shakespeare

I venerate the man whose heart is warm, Whose hands are pure, whose doctrine and whose life, Coincident, exhibit lucid proof That he is honest in the sacred cause.

William Cowper

We know that more than seventy to eighty percent of women masturbate, and ninety percent of men masturbate, and the rest lie.

Joycelyn Elders

Ain't no mountain high enough, ain't no valley low enough, ain't no river wide enough, to keep me from getting to you.

Marvin Gaye

Don't let the low standards and expectations of the world and others cause you to aim beneath your nobility and ability-dream big! What I know and have learned is that anything worth doing is not easy and that we can do anything that is not easy if we believe.

Elaine S. Dalton

We do all, myself included, we tend to hold ourselves to pretty low standards. But when it comes to judging public figures or politicians or people we've never met, we tend to hold people to very high standards, and, if we held ourselves to those standards, we'd always fall short.

Moby

My dear young women, with all my heart I urge you not to look to contemporary culture for your role models and mentors. Please look to your faithful mothers for a pattern to follow. Model yourselves after them, not after celebrities whose standards are not the Lord's standards and whose values may not reflect an eternal perspective. Look to your mother.