A Quote by Bo Burnham
For me, comedy is constantly presented as this fake casualness, like a guy just walked on stage going, 'This crazy thing happened to me the other day.' And he's in front of 3000 people, and he's acting like an everyman, and he's getting paid so much money.
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Sometimes a guy is going to get you here and there, you compete. He is getting paid just like you're getting paid, and he is a competitor just like you are. But if a guy can just stop me a whole game by himself, and I can't do nothing about it or I'm fatiguing or I'm not strong throughout the whole game, then it's time for me to hang them up.
I was a bartender in New York and I overheard this girl saying she made $3000 doing a commercial. A kid at work told me, 'Hey, I know this director and he'd really like you!'. So I walked into this guy's office and was like 'I was thinking maybe I could make $3000' and he hired me for commercials, short films, like 15 jobs in a row.
Donald Trump is making decisions that affect people's day-to-day life, and he's constantly, constantly making some crazy announcement. It's like, "Well, what are we supposed to talk about? The D train? Traffic?" Trump is the one guy that's like, "Yeah, I'll do 90 minutes of live comedy. Seems easy enough."
I was working with D'Mile - he's amazing! And I don't know, it was like that guitar riff was so crazy to me, and so I think I was frustrated about something that happened earlier and I feel like I'm just a good guy, I don't cut people off, I don't really call people out when they do stuff that they should be called out on, and I'm just always the one being the bigger person. So, that day "Gangster" just came out. That's just how I feel in that day to day life.
To just to get up on stage and sing every night at 9 or 10 years old was unbelievable to me. It wasn't that I was getting paid; it was that I was getting paid to do what I like to do.
Because I was crazy and because my parents wanted me out of their hair, they put me in an all-day acting class... so they wouldn't have to deal with me, probably. And it just so happened there agents auditing the class, and I ended up getting signed.
The Wall Street Dow Jones up and down thing that's moving when the stock market's open? That thing freaks me out. It's up, it's down, it's just maddening to me. I guess I'm such a super-focused kind of person that I get distracted really easy. I'll watch that thing, and it's like I'm losing money, I'm getting money. It's just crazy.
I had two starts, really. The first was going to the Italia Conti stage school, aged 15. I'd gone to sing, but one day I found myself doing an improvisation and thought, 'Oh God, I quite like this acting thing.' The second start was meeting Mike Leigh when I was 22. He showed me I could play people that weren't like me.
You know, it only happens a handful of times in your career, where you walk out of an audition feeling like all the stars aligned, my preparation paid off, something magical happened in the room. I've gotten really lucky and I've gotten to work a lot, and I would say it's only happened, like, two or three times, where I've walked out and been like, This was the right thing and the right choice and they should just cast me.
I'm definitely not a model. I just get to, in the course of what I do, especially with acting and dressing up and getting into different characters and doing one-off campaigns with brands I really love, I get to be a model for a day. I walked on one catwalk once, and it was the most frightening thing, because you're just putting one foot in front of the other, but it was pretty mortifying.
We actors are fortunate people, getting paid to do what we love - it's like getting paid to eat cake! There isn't much to complain about. In fact, on the days I have an off, I'm constantly telling my friends how I want to be on the sets because I miss it already.
Standup led me to acting because I liked standup, and I saw people on a stage, and the closest, nearest thing to me was doing plays. It was like, that's the same thing as standup - people are on a stage; they're being seen and saying things - so, because of my love of standup, I moved towards acting.
And from the first moment that I ever walked on stage in front of a darkened auditorium with a couple of hundred people sitting there, I was never afraid, I was never fearful, I didn't suffer from stage fright, because I felt so safe on that stage. I wasn't Patrick Stewart, I wasn't in the environment that frightened me, I was pretending to be someone else, and I liked the other people I pretended to be. So I felt nothing but security for being on stage. And I think that's what drew me to this strange job of playing make-believe.
One thing that bugs me in comedy is when somebody does a fake cry, you know, like they fake cry in a comedy. But in a drama they'll really cry. That bugs me.
I have driven school buses, sold egg rolls and painted houses, and I have often wondered what my life would have been like if I hadn't gone into acting. Mind you, it's a great life, going around pretending you're other people and getting paid ridiculous sums of money for it.
It seems to be that more and more people are asking you to work for nothing on films, and that's unfortunate because you have to make a living. On the other hand, I don't do a better job because I get paid a lot of money. I'm never like, 'I'm not going to work as hard because I'm not getting paid as much.'
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