A Quote by Bob Hope

I tell jokes to pay my green fees.

Bob Hope

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Fees Green Jokes Pay Tell

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Bob Hope
American - Comedian
May 29, 1903 - July 27, 2003

Golf is my real profession. Entertainment is just a sideline. I tell jokes to pay my greens fees.

Bob Hope

Golf is my profession Show business is just to pay the green fees.

Bob Hope

The biggest profit center for investment banks is the hefty fees they charge for underwriting stock offerings and giving financial advice, and analysts put those profits at risk if they publish negative conclusions about the companies that pay the fees.

Alex Berenson

For 'tis green, green, green, where the ruined towers are gray, And it's green, green, green, all the happy night and day; Green of leaf and green of sod, green of ivy on the wall, And the blessed Irish shamrock with the fairest green of all.

Mary Elizabeth McGrath Blake

There are jokes I know I want to tell, and there's sort of a rough order, but usually I try to change it up every show, to improvise and talk with the audience. I think when you tell jokes, if you're not careful, you can end up telling the whole list of jokes and then that's it. And that can get a little boring.

Demetri Martin

I love those people who do story-telling and who ramble on, but I don't do that, I tell jokes - the sort of jokes that anyone really could tell in the pub.

Jimmy Carr

In a growing number of states, you're actually expected to pay back the costs of your imprisonment. Paying back all these fees, fines, and costs may be a condition of your probation or parole. To make matters worse, if you're one of the lucky few who actually manages to get a job following release from prison, up to 100% of your wages can be garnished to pay back all those fees, fines and court costs. One hundred percent.

Michelle Alexander

Unfortunately, the weaker people are, the more they pay, and the stronger they are, the less they pay - when it comes to banking, commission and management fees, and in every area of our lives.

Moshe Kahlon

I make money because I have to pay for everything apart from my school fees. My mother even makes me pay my own telephone bill.

Ivana Trump

One of the great things about us Jews is that we tell the best jokes. Part of the reason is we tell jokes against ourselves - before anyone else gets to do it.

Howard Jacobson

The biggest challenge is self-financing 100% of everything. Recording costs, studio time, engineer fees, travel costs are all a part of the creation process. Then after the creation, there are producer fees, mixing, mastering, photo shoots, artwork, packaging, artist feature fees, legal fees, clearances, and so on that must be covered before any music can officially be released to the public.

Mya

I don't really want to tell jokes about trivia; I'd kind of rather tell jokes about things like life and death.

David Shrigley

Green grass, green grandstands, green concession stalls, green paper cups, green folding chairs and visors for sale, green and white ropes, green-topped Georgia pines. If justice were poetic, Hubert Green would win it every year.

John Updike

I learned all those jokes in second grade. Second grade is really where they tell you those horrific jokes, racist jokes and misogynistic jokes that you have no idea what they mean, and you just memorize them because they have a very strong effect, they make people laugh in this kind of nervous, horrible way, and it's only later that you realize that you've got a head full of crap.

Chuck Palahniuk

Jokes rot. They're not like songs. I always envy singers - Sting is always going to sing 'Roxanne'. But people want to hear new jokes. I've written jokes as good as 'Roxanne', I believe. But I can't tell them again.

Chris Rock

I never have goals or dreams. My sister says it's pathetic and lazy, but I had a goal, to tell jokes to pay bills and not have to live in a trailer. So, I think I'm living my fantasy. I don't have another.

Kathleen Madigan

A Quote by Bob Hope

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