I have heard of managers who encourage players not to slide hard for fear they will get hurt and be lost from the lineup for a time. That is why you occasionally see a player go into second base on a double-play ball and not even bother to slide. I wonder, could Ty Cobb
sit though plays like that and hold his lunch?
I love my fan base because they never high-five me; they always get really shifty and hide. Adam Sandler's fan base are like, 'Hey!' and high-five him and want to hang out, but mine go behind pillars and get really freaked out.
I know Noah Baumbach from a long time ago. We were hanging out one night, and he asked if I wanted to be in his movie. If somebody whose stuff you really like says, 'Hey, you want to do it with me?,' you got to do it. I would like to say that I get these offers all the time, but I don't.
I have a lot of friends who are getting married. I try to avoid talking to them about their sex lives now 'cause it's so depressing. One guy told me it had been six months since he had gotten to second base with his wife. Yeah, I don't know which one was more pathetic: that he used the phrase 'second base' or that he hadn't been there in six months?
Faith is so rare-and religion so common-because no one wants to live between first base and second base. Faith is the in-between space where you're not sure you'll make it to second base. You've let go of one thing and haven't yet latched into another. Most of us choose the security of first base.
In general, if I owned a sports team, no matter what team it was, and someone asked me, 'Hey, you won the championship. Would you go to the White House?' I'd say, hey, guys, you won the championship. You decide what you want to do.
I really wanted a tennis dress. My parents told me that if I played, they would buy me one. I was like, 'Hey, I'll try it.'
I think the parts I was offered when I was younger, where I was asked to play that kind of slacker person, that was just because people would go, "Oh, she has dyed black hair." I guess that's how they thought I looked. I played a couple of those roles, and then unfortunately you get pigeonholed really fast, and then you just keep getting asked to do that. And now it would be weird at the age of 46 for me to play a slacker. It would look like I was nuts.
I would try to pick the guitar up sometimes, like, "Hey, remember me?" It was like reintroducing yourself to someone who's got a grudge.
If you asked me in my first year would I ever get to my 1,000th game - I thought just getting to 100 would be amazing.
I want to be so famous that I'm the pop-culture reference that people would make to try and be racist to me. So I'd be walking down the street, and someone would be, like, 'Hey, look at this Kumail Nanjiani.'
My wife asked me if I ever thought I would ever retire from stand-up. And I thought about it, and I was like, 'No, because it's my job; it's what I do, and I enjoy it.' It's still the most challenging thing for me to do.
Would you like to watch TV or get between the sheets and contemplate this violent freeway, would you like something to eat would you like to learn to fly would ya, would you like to see me try
Hey, Amy, did you ever want to, like, get on the conveyor belt and see what happened? Like,'Hey don't mind me, I'm just hanging with cargo'?
I was approached by Avon which took me by surprise, cause I thought "why me?" I thought it would be Olga, but they wanted me to be the face of their fragrance and since filming Bond I have recorded an ad that looks great and obviously the stills. It's brilliant because I never thought I would get to do anything like that and it is a lovely opportunity.
Hey there's not a cloud in the sky
It's as blue as your goodbye
And I thought that it would rain
On a day like today
Hey there's not a cloud in sight
It's as blue as your blue goodbye
And I thought that it would rain
The day you went away
He's on the buses and the aeroplanes
With some groceries and a sleeping bag