A Quote by Brian Kilmeade
Jon Stewart says that he was a little kid with a big head. He had very little athletic ability. He went out to the soccer field, and it was awful.
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I always thought Jon Stewart was an extremely good surgeon with his scalpel. He would have Republicans on who, I guess, were unclear about what Stewart was up to, and while Jon Stewart was being nice, he was building a case for drowning them.
A little Jewish Grandma is at the Florida coast with her little Jewish Grandson. The grandson is playing on the beach when a big wave comes and washes the kid out to sea. The lifeguards swim out, bring him back to shore, the paramedics work on him for a long time, pumping the water out, reviving him. They turn to the Jewish Grandma, and say, we saved your grandson. The little Jewish Grandma says, He had a hat!
The first time I met Jon Stewart was at the press conference that Comedy Central held to announce Jon would be the new host of 'The Daily Show,' which back then was not called 'The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.'
It didn't seem fair to me that Jon Stewart's rally didn't get the same kind of attention that Glenn Beck's did. Why was Beck's seen as checking the thermometer of the country, and Jon Stewart just dismissed as a satirist?
Jon Stewart is a remarkable satirist and parodist in the vein of Mark Twain, because Jon Stewart understands what Mark Twain knew, which is that the truth goes down more easily in a democracy when it's marinated in humor.
The school I went to was a little farm school in Wannaska, student body 61 or something. There was a kid, the only black kid in our county, Dustin Byfuglien. He won the Stanley Cup a couple years back with the Blackhawks. Out of a class of 21 kids, he and I always had to be on opposite teams on everything because we were the most athletic.
My generation grew up on 'The Daily Show.' Jon Stewart gave me solace. He was the only person who I felt defended Muslims when crazy things were happening; the only place you could find a nuanced take on Iraq was Jon Stewart's show.
I was not particularly bright, I wasn't very athletic, I was a little too tall, odd, funny looking, I was just really weird as a kid.
I was very, very large as a kid and never athletic, and my home life was a little upside down and I never felt comfortable.
I used to play soccer when I was little, but everybody played soccer when they were little.
It felt as if my body was, like, literally betraying me because I went from a very athletic, straight-up-and-down little kid to a very curvaceous woman, and it was just horrifying to me.
When I was a little, little kid, my family got a new washing machine, and they had a big box that was left over. So I cut a big hole in the box, and I made it like a giant TV set. I brought it into the living room, and I did the news and the weather for my family.
I played a little football when I was really young, but I didn't start until my junior year. My cousin, who was a big influence in my athletic career over time, said you should go out for receiver. I said let's give it a shot. I went out and played a little and caught a couple balls over a couple dudes heads.
I was awful at football when I was a little kid. I didn't have the aggressiveness. I was just a nice kid. I didn't want to hurt anyone.
I played soccer in the Alps when I was a kid. There was a blizzard that happened. And little local German kids were out there shoveling lines. Keeping it moving.
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