A Quote by Brian Regan
You know what's fun? You pick somebody at random, like out of the phone book, and send them about 100 'Just Because' cards. They can't even ask you why you did it.
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I think I've learned over the years, because you'd have to be stupid not to, that when a book publisher gives you a deadline they're just kidding for the most part. I don't know what they do with it, it's like you send them your book and they just hold it in their hands for like six months and I don't know why, and you realize you probably had more time.
I wanted to know why people follow rules blindly, or why girls had to act a certain way and boys didn't. Why could boys ask girls out and girls not ask guys out? Why did girls have to shave their legs and guys didn't? Why did society, like, set everything up the way they did? My whole adolescence was full of unanswered whys. Because they never got answered, I just kept lighting fires everywhere - metaphorically speaking.
There was a guy with mental illness in the middle of the street just yelling and hollering. I have a number that I can call - it's not 911 - to tell them, "You need to help this man get out of the street." But you have to be that person, you have to pick up the phone, you have to do it; you can't just walk by and act like they're not people. They're somebody's kid, somebody's dad, somebody's brother.
With a poetry book I can send 100 copies out to reviewers and other people, and even do it in advance and get their response. It's difficult with iPad: how do you send it out for free, and how do you even disseminate it before it goes into their store?
[I]t just makes me tired even thinking about it. It reminds me of that feeling I had before I left. Like my lungs were made of lead. Like I can't even think about starting to care about anything. Like I either wish that they were all dead, or I was, because I can't stand the pull of all that history between us. That's before I even pick up the phone. I'm so tired I never want to wake up again. But I've figured out now that it was never them that made me feel that way. It was just me, all along.
Dishonest, which is Hillary Clinton in the eyes of the American people, beats crazy. Dishonest loses to normal. So, let's just pick somebody out of the phone book if we have to.
I don't know what it's like to be Cuban-American, but I know what it's like to have family under Communism and to get up early in the morning and send medical supplies and try to send food and try to send money and have it intervened, and them calling and crying on the phone.
I've always felt like a teacher. Whenever I've learned something important, my reaction has always been to tell everybody about it. I read a book, I buy 100 copies and I send them out.
When I invite people over to my apartment, they usually don't like it because the music I play confuses the crap out of them - I'm making people listen to the 'Final Fantasy' soundtrack, and they're like, 'Why is this happening? Let's just leave and find somebody who wants us to have fun and not teach us about something.'
I don't understand what apps are on my phone. Why do they ask for passwords? Why do they all ask for different passwords? It's so frustrating that I end up just reading a book every time I try to go online.
It is ridiculous that somebody picks up the phone and calls somebody they see on television. Why don't they call somebody in their area? Don't they know about that?
I usually try to connect with young filmmakers over the phone so I can hear them and just pick their brain as to why they want to tell the story. And usually, I'm on board. I go, "Yeah, I'd love to help. And I just need to know why you want to do this,' and it's usually an easy process because a filmmaker usually reveals his or her heart in telling the story. And that's why I'm pretty much of a softy when it comes to helping along the young ones along the way.
Somebody has to give a wakeup call to our coaching world to ask them real questions and show them that if you have kids, then you know there is no way you can talk to somebody else like that, because that's somebody's child.
We've all had the experience of you pick up a book, you can't get into it, you can't concentrate.Then one day you pick up the same book and you don't hear the phone ring. You're totally absorbed. Same thing I have to do every day. When you get into that special place of unconsciousness - you get it listening to great music or seeing a great movie - it just takes you out of yourself, out of this whole world. There's no feeling quite like it.
My life is so random. Certain things I can't even explain. There's a thing about being lucky and... I feel like certain things are just, like, in your cards. I'm just walking the path that's already set.
I always give books. And I always ask for books. I think you should reward people sexually for getting you books. Don't send a thank-you note, repay them with sexual activity. If the book is rare or by your favorite author or one you didn't know about, reward them with the most perverted sex act you can think of. Otherwise, you can just make out.
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