A Quote by Brigitte Bardot
I tried to make myself as pretty as possible and even then I thought I was ugly. I found it madly difficult to go out, to show myself.
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It's fine being stared at as a pretty girl, but not as a freak. When I tried to make myself ugly, they said, 'Oh, she's lost her looks.'
I found a new life in painting, maybe because I think I've found myself. I'm so much more comfortable with myself now that, with every decision I make, I can go all out.
As a twelve-year-old girl, I thought that I was only pretty if the people on social media told me that I was pretty - and they weren't telling me I was pretty. So I didn't think I was pretty, and I was really down on myself, and I really was sad with myself. But social media doesn't give you validation or make you pretty. You make you pretty.
Everyone thinks these are self-portraits but they aren't meant to be. I just use myself as a model because I know I can push myself to extremes, make each shot as ugly or goofy or silly as possible.
I thought, when I came upon her, that I was seizing hold of life... Instead I lost hold of life completely. I reached out for something to attach myself to - and I found nothing. But in reaching out, in the effort to grasp, to attach myself, left high and dry as I was, I nevertheless found something I had not looked for - myself.
I always thought I was going to be on the other side of the camera. That's where I found myself. I found out that I could write when I was 17, right before you go to college, so it was a passion of mine.
Acting is so difficult for me that, unless the work is of a certain stature in my mind, unless I reach the expectations I have of myself, I'm unhappy. Then it's a miserable existence. I'm putting a piece of myself out there. If it doesn't do anything, I feel so ashamed. I'm afraid I'll be the kind of actor who thought he would make a difference and didn't. Right now, though, I feel like I made a little bit of difference.
I never thought I was pretty enough. I was kind of tall and lanky. I don't mind it now, but back in the day I hated it. I would tell myself that what I think is ugly at 17 is actually what's going to be pretty about me later.
In America it's all, 'I'm gonna make something of myself, leave my tiny town and go to L.A!' Canadians are like, 'I'm gonna make something of myself, go to L.A., and then come right back again to hang out with my buddies!'
Do we have a guide to help us choose the right and avoid dangerous detours? I have tried to pattern my life after the Master. Whenever I have a difficult decision to make, I have looked at that picture and asked myself, "What would He do?" Then I try to do it. We can never go wrong when we choose to follow the Savior.
The experience of climbing Kilimanjaro affected me so powerfully that, for a long time afterward, if I caught myself saying, "I'm not a person who likes to do that activity, eat that food, listen to that music," I would automatically go out and do what I imagined I didn't like. Generally I found I was wrong about myself - I liked what I thought I wouldn't like. And even if I didn't like the particular experience, I learned I liked having new experiences.
I thought, "Wow, it sounds really stoned anyway." It sounded good to me. I found out that there was a lot in there. What all this comes down to is I was just trying to get in touch with myself. And I met some interesting people in New York who weren't in show business. I even got to know my dentist.
In this day and age, if you're aspiring to be an actor, and you're putting all your eggs in one basket, you could be disappointed. I started out as an actor, but I forced myself to be a writer, even though I wasn't very good at it and had never written. I don't think I ever passed an English course in my life. My first 8 to 10 scripts were pretty horrendous, but I stayed at it until I eventually found a voice and a subject that people were interested in. So, I recommend that you go out and try to be as versatile as possible: writer, actor, producer and especially director.
Sometimes, particularly in summers in New York, I have tried to write in shorts or with no shirt on and found myself unable to do so, the reason being, I take it, that writing, even of the most impersonal sort, is for me a divestment, a striptease, even, so that if I start off undressed, I have nowhere to go.
I think I did realize that early on, and then I went through a fun phase where I was figuring out who I was and the different sides of myself. I think like most women, I bought into a certain ideal of beauty that I didn't quite fit into, and I tried to pretzel myself and alter myself to be what I was told is beautiful, and then I realized that you are in control of what you think is beautiful.
I never studied directing and I never really thought about doing it, and then I just found myself in that situation and tried it. I like to be observing everything else, and I get self-conscious in front of the camera.
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