A Quote by Bryson Tiller
I used to bottle up all of my emotions and never say anything. Even if something really made me mad, I'd be quiet.
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There is such a problem with racism, so to actually just say it and have so many people of colour message me and thank me for saying something... I remember when I used to cry about it to my manager I used to be like: 'Why do I feel like this?' and she'd never say it, and I'd never say it. It was really strange.
Raving mad is quite easy. You just chew up the scenery or something. It's quiet mad that's hard.
I used to say, 'Mad' takes on both sides.' We even used to rake the hippies over the coals. They were protesting the Vietnam War, but we took aspects of their culture and had fun with it. 'Mad' was wide open.
I never regret or sit back and think that I shouldn't have said something. There are a lot of people who tell me that you shouldn't say this or that or should keep quiet, and I really think that I can either be true to my conscience or can live a fake life by staying quiet.
But you're not really emotionally mature in your 20s. Well, we weren't. You don't say anything, you just bottle it up and then it builds up.
Before I got into stand-up, I was a really quiet guy who had all these thoughts, all these things I wanted to say, but there was never anyplace for me to say them because my mom would look at me and go, 'You better not say what you're thinking. You better not.'
One thing I've learnt is you should never fight it. They're natural emotions and when you try and bottle everything up, that's what can make you depressed. Luckily I have fantastic memories [about my parents] and they really help.
And this was the main precondition, that anything might be something else. Once I'd accepted that, it followed that I might be mad, or that someone might think me mad. How could I say for certain that I wasn't, if I couldn't say for certain that a curtain wasn't a mountain range?
How many people have different opinions in this world? Every different person has a different opinion of what that bottle really is or what colour it is. If I say that bottle is clear, there will be someone out there telling me that bottle is green or blue.
I get great satisfaction nowadays when people come up and say 'I used to hate you when I was little' or 'you used to make me mad' - well that was the desired effect.
I've always been a reserved cat. When I play sports, there's people used to get mad at me because I didn't hang out and things like that. I've never been that kind of person. Nothing has changed in that regard. I've never been posse, and all that. I'm a quiet storm.
I really had the best time on 'Mad Men.' It was a wonderful place for me, because I never went to an acting school or anything like that, so 'Mad Men' was kind of my training.
[I]t just makes me tired even thinking about it. It reminds me of that feeling I had before I left. Like my lungs were made of lead. Like I can't even think about starting to care about anything. Like I either wish that they were all dead, or I was, because I can't stand the pull of all that history between us. That's before I even pick up the phone. I'm so tired I never want to wake up again. But I've figured out now that it was never them that made me feel that way. It was just me, all along.
I was quiet. If I really wanted to say something, I would. I just wasn't interested in saying anything.
I used to come home at night full of inspiration, and sit up with a bottle of Scotch. As I wrote, the words seemed wonderful, just too wonderful to be coming from me. Next morning I always found they were terrible and I could never use anything I wrote.
I think, ultimately, the problem with something like this is that you actually have so many more opportunities to say something than you actually have things worth saying. And then, as an artist who doesn't want to do bad work, gosh, how do you fill up all that space when you really don't have anything actually worthwhile to say? And that's what makes the job tough, because the fans get mad - "That's not funny," or "You've been sucking for several months now." And you go, "It's not my fault! I'm trying."
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