For me, to make a living off of working out is a dream for me. I don't know, I really can't be in an office and stuff like that. I want to do something that I love, and training, that's what motivates me.
I guess I don't really know any other way to do it, it just feels like the natural way to do things for me. Like - if I'm writing a song - it has to have some sort of value. Or it only has some kind of value to me, if it's something really personal. It has to mean something to me. I guess it is a little uncomfortable, or it's a little embarrassing sometimes, to know that stuff that honest is out there. But, when I hand off the thing, when it's totally done and mastered and sent, I kinda feel like it doesn't belong to me anymore.
I don't want to be little again. But at the same time I do. I want to be me like I was then, and me as I am now, and me like I'll be in the future. I want to be me and nothing but me. I want to be crazy as the moon, wild as the wind and still as the earth. I want to be every single thing it's possible to be. I'm growing and I don't know how to grow. I'm living but I haven't started living yet.
Advice from my experience, for me, I've never taken no as an answer, I don't believe in that. If I want something, I'm going to get it. When people tell me that I can't do something, it just motivates me more. For me, it makes me smile, because I just want to prove everybody wrong.
I do not approach my life tactfully at all, i'm incredibly impulsive and I am definitely an intense weirdo. I love living and I love people. They trip me out and I want to know more about them all the time. That isn't something I can turn off and on.
Love me, love me, love me, love me, love me, love me, love me, I'll be anybody you want me to be. Use me. Change me. I can be thin with big breasts and big hair. Take me apart. Make me into anything, but just love me.
Dear God," she prayed, "let me be something every minute of every hour of my life. Let me be gay; let me be sad. Let me be cold; let me be warm. Let me be hungry...have too much to eat. Let me be ragged or well dressed. Let me be sincere - be deceitful. Let me be truthful; let me be a liar. Let me be honorable and let me sin. Only let me be something every blessed minute. And when I sleep, let me dream all the time so that not one little piece of living is ever lost.
Music is a huge part of my life when I am on the road, working out, or preparing for a game. It is something I always go back to, and it is something that motivates me. It gets me hype before a game.
I try to keep it really real on my social media, whether it's me training or working out, whether it's me practicing or failing at something.
I have my guy Semi who is my on the road - he's my personal trainer. He helps me out with training and stuff like that, and he's shown me a lot of things I can do on the road. We were trying to figure out something that I can do everywhere, like in my hotel room, so I don't have to have a gym.
For me, writing a historical novel was really hard. I love history as a subject and majored in it in college. I think, in a way, my training made it worse for me because I knew how important it was to focus on document-based analysis, and I really didn't want to get stuff wrong.
People ask me, 'Why don't you take time off?' but the working class doesn't take time off. They're out there working every day. That's what I do, too. I want them to know there is hope, and I'm out there just like they are.
I think my weight-training proved to me more than anything that I can do anything in life if I really put my mind to it. I saw me bring myself from 137 pounds to 175 pounds over a seven-year period. That alone said to me that all you have to do is really stick with something, and you can accomplish anything you want. It's brought me great self-esteem because I know I did it. I changed me.
I get people who come up to me and are like, 'You make me wanna live my dream.' I was them, so I'm like, 'Me, out of all people? No way.' Eddie Guerrero did that for me, so to have little girls and guys tell me I inspire them, I didn't know that came with the job, but it's so cool.
I was working with D'Mile - he's amazing! And I don't know, it was like that guitar riff was so crazy to me, and so I think I was frustrated about something that happened earlier and I feel like I'm just a good guy, I don't cut people off, I don't really call people out when they do stuff that they should be called out on, and I'm just always the one being the bigger person. So, that day "Gangster" just came out. That's just how I feel in that day to day life.
I really want people to know me, to find out about me, and if they really like me, to stick with me.
For so much of my life, I lived feeling as if, if I spoke, if I said something, I would lose everything. I would be pushed out. No one will want me. No one will love me. No one would want to be friends with me. It took me decades to get to a space of saying, 'This is my truth. This is who I am, and I don't care if you like me or you don't like me.'