A Quote by Carmella
When I first got my ring name as Carmella, I knew I was just going to do whatever I could to create this over-ridiculous, over-the-top character that would just help me get my face, and I don't even know what I'm trying to say, but just get me out there and just show, like, 'OK, wow, we need to pay attention to this girl because she has something.'
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I did a show in Germany, and some kid - he was disabled - he was actually in a wheelchair, and he came out to my show, and he couldn't get across to me what he was trying to say, and you could see that he was frustrated because he couldn't fully express himself, and I just felt like, 'Wow, he's just really passionate about me.'
If I had a million dollars, I just wouldn't just completely set back. I'd have to get out there and show my face to all these good people who like me, I have to get out there and show my face. The only thing that would set me back if I get sick or something or pass away, that's all you can do about that you know. But as long as I got my health goin' pretty good, I'll show up around here.
It used to be with chocolate. I would put chocolate in my studio and say, "You know, Nat, there's this chocolate you can have if you get over there." And usually if I got over there, I would start writing. Sometimes I need get out of the house and go to a café and write. Sometimes I'll write with other friends to get myself going. And sometimes I just say "Ok, Nat, enough. Go one hour. Keep your hand going." I'll do whatever it takes.
There were times my mom and I butted heads - over my curfew, over something like that. Whenever we would hit these moments of emotional backfire, she would say, 'You just don't understand what it's like to be a mother... I could never handle losing you.' I was like, 'OK, but just, like, chill out.'
You don't get the pay-off when you're playing a quiet character, so sometimes you want to just throw out all your work and say, "Okay, let me do something really funny or gimmicky, just so that I can get some attention in this scene."
Once at a record store in San Francisco, over a thousand kids showed up. They pushed forward and broke a window. A big piece of glass fell on top of this girl. And the girl's throat was slit. She just got slit. And I remember there was blood everywhere. Oh God, so much blood. And she grabbed her throat and was bleeding and everyone just ignored her. Why? Because I was there and they wanted to grab at me and get my autograph. I wonder whatever happened to that girl.
I just love the Carmella character. It's so over the top. It's so extra. She's not afraid to be herself and say what's on her mind, and I think a lot of people can relate to that.
When I started that's how I wrote because I didn't know any better. I was just like "I want to make music." Then there were all these things that I learned to get myself over certain humps, but I think it just comes down to: do I have something to say or not? If I'm feeling something I should try to get that out, and maybe it's not words, but trying to turn it into something.
I did something that I told people around me never to do, which was, pay a psychiatrist. Why pay a psychiatrist when you can just come to me? I can help you with something going on in your life; even if I know nothing about you, I can possibly help you. That's just me being cocky like I am.
When Jeff and I were first starting out and trying to make a name for ourselves, we were doing indy shows, and would take whatever we could get just to have as much in-ring time as we could.
I didn't have to sell my soul for money. I didn't have to go through trap music; I could just help Ye write songs and get money from it. So I knew when I put my album out I could just be myself. Not saying I won't do a trap beat or rap over one, but that's just not what makes me. That's not all of CyHi.
We tried so hard. We were always trying to help each other. But not because we were helpless. He needed to get things for me, just as I needed to get things for him. It gave us purpose. Sometimes I would ask him for something that I did not even want, just to let him get it for me. We spent our days trying to help each other help each other. I would get his slippers. He would make my tea. I would turn up the heat so he could turn up the air conditioner so I could turn up the heat.
Glass shattered, vampires roared, humans screamed. The noise battered at me, just as the tidal wave of scores of brains at high gear washed over me. When it began to taper off, I looked up into Eric's eyes. Incredibly, he was excited. He smiled at me. "I knew I'd get on top of you somehow," he said. Are you trying to make me mad so I'll forget how scared I am?" No, I'm just opportunistic." I wiggled, trying to get out from under him, and he said, "Oh, do that again. It felt great.
I'm a guy who is just trying to be successful in whatever I do, and I give everything to my teammates, give everything to the coaching staff. When you fall short, it hurts and it eats at you, and it hurts me to know that I wish I could have done better and done more and just put a little bit more effort or whatever the case may be to help us get over the hump. But it just wasn't our time.
You can't have a director say, "Just be you"; you have to have an aim. It's like when you throw darts, you have to know where the bullseye is. You can't just say, "No no no no no, drop the darts. Just stand. We're going to film you." You have to get there indirectly. You have to have me doing something, and then you can get "me."
I just think of Fannie Lou Hamer, because even though she didn't know my name Ms. Hamer was thinking of me. I just want to do a good job, because I want her to look over that edge of heaven and say, "That's why I did it. That's why. I knew we had the capacity and the talent to be everything America says we can't be. All we needed was an open door."
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