A Quote by Charles Bukowski
As a recluse I couldn't bear traffic. It had nothing to do with jealousy, I simply disliked people, crowds, anywhere, except at my readings. People diminished me, they sucked me dry.
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In the past, I think I was scared of showing myself. I thought people disliked me because I received so much hate when I was young. But as I grew older, I realized that there were people who disliked me and people who liked me. So I learned that there was no need for me to be so conscious of what others thought about me.
God, When I was alone, and had nothing, I asked for a friend to help me bear the pain, No one came, except God, When I needed a breath to rise, from my sleep, No one could help me.. except God, When all I saw was sadness, and I needed answers, No one heard me, except God, So when I'm asked.. who I give my unconditional love to? I look for no other name, except God
Somebody asked me, 'Why do people like vampires so much?' This was right after Obama had been elected and I said, 'Because we just spent eight years being sucked dry by one.'
People are really surprised when they meet me that I'm a recluse. People think I'm very gregarious and outgoing - and I am - I'm thinking about writing a book about it called 'The Gregarious Recluse.' How the more that you put me out there in front of audiences, the more that when I have down time I have to disappear.
When people treat you mean, you dislike them for that, but not because of their person, who they are. I was born and raised in a segregated society, but when I left there, I had nobody I disliked other than the people that'd mistreated me, and that only lasted for as long as they were mistreating me.
People didn't stop me before for a guest spot that I did on 'Smallville.' Nothing against 'Smallville,' but people didn't freak out in traffic to tell me they love my show.
I often think that at the center of me is a voice that at last did split, a house in my heart so invaded with other people and their speech, friends I believed I was devoted to, people whose lives I can simply guess at now, that it gives me the impression I am simply a collection of them, that they all existed for themselves, but had inadvertently formed me, then vanished. But, what: Should I have been expected to create my own self, out of nothing, out of thin, thin air and alone?
Crowds, I'm not good in crowds. I almost had a mental breakdown, I almost lost my cool at Disneyland one time when the park was closing, and I turn around and saw just a sea of people coming at me and a stroller full of kids.
Behold then Septimus Dodge returning to Dodge-town victorious. Not crowned with laurel, it is true, but wreathed in lists of things he has seen and sucked dry. Seen and sucked dry, you know: Venus de Milo, the Rhine or the Coliseum: swallowed like so many clams, and left the shells.
The Circle Theatre, black people had to sit in the balcony. Any theater with a balcony, black people had to sit up there. Black people couldn't check into any hotel except their own. And black people couldn't eat anywhere except in their own restaurants.
I love doing the readings. The readings are the fun bits... The readings are probably the things that actually keep me going on these. If I couldn't do the readings, I wouldn't do the [signing] tours. I get to stand up there and read to a bunch of adults who in many cases nobody's read to in years, since they were about five. They just squat on the floor. That's enormously enjoyable.
I realized that if I was going to understand the uniqueness and depth of God's love for me, I had to mentally separate my relationships with people from my relationship with the Lord. God's love should never be distorted or diminished by comparing it with the friendship or love of any human who has let me down, rejected me, betrayed me, or lied about me.
Something a lot of people don't know about me is I sucked my thumb until I was in like eighth grade. It's cause, when I was a baby, I sucked my thumb and I guess my mom and dad never weaned me off of that, because they thought it was cute. And then it's like an addiction. That's your security blanket.
The only issue that I have a problem with when it comes to the new age is the way that people such as myself are diminished by that label. I simply don't consider myself "new age." It's other people's small-mindedness that tries to connect me with someone who, let's say, thinks crystals are the answers to all of life's problems. I never did. There are those who suggest that anyone speaking from a base in California has less to say. That kind of bashing doesn't interest me.
They called me a 'rapist' and a 'recluse.' I'm not a recluse.
A lot of the vibe in London is being sucked dry because of the economic situation. It's very expensive, and it gives you nothing back. New York still feels like there's stuff going on. People are struggling to create art. There's still a vibe.
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