A Quote by Chelsea Handler
I never say the things I really want to. If I did, I'd have no friends.
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I had to feign interest in all this nonsense until I could ask when I could come over and sit on his face. I didn't say that out loud, of course. I never say the things I really want to. If I did, I'd have no friends.
Some people say the things I do are annoying because I'm intentionally trying too hard to be relatable, but I'm really not. It's never really been my intention; I've never gone out of my way to be relatable to anyone. I just say what I want, and I'm pretty blunt about things.
Did God really say that I couldn't tell my friends what so and so did yesterday? Does that really count as gossip? No, it's just venting, and venting is healthy right? Wrong! We are supposed to think about the things that are praiseworthy, not gossip worthy.
Never say things to friends which you don't want to hear from enemies.
I never had a huge circle of friends, so I really just tried to cherish and not take for granted the close friends I did have, who were really supportive and understanding.
I was never the type who had a particular ambition. I had friends in college who would say, 'I want to be a vice president by the time I'm 35 years old.' A lot of people had these career plans. I didn't have any. I thought if I did my best, good things would happen.
I get a lot of e-mail messages from people who say thanks for giving them a place to vent, an outlet to say what they can't say in real life with friends and work colleagues - things that they know are wrong, but they still want to say. Is it right? No, of course not. People say some disgusting, vile things.
I used to just let people tell me what to do. I didn't really have a mind of my own, and I couldn't really say yes or no to things because I didn't really know what I wanted, but now I feel really confident in the fact that I can really be distinctive on what I want and how I want to do things.
I definitely wasn't cool in high school. I really wasn't. I did belong to many of the clubs and was in leadership on yearbook and did the musical theater route, so I had friends in all areas. But I certainly did not know what to wear, did not know how to do my hair, all those things.
I definitely wasn’t cool in high school. I really wasn’t. I did belong to many of the clubs and was in leadership on yearbook and did the musical theater route, so I had friends in all areas, but I certainly did not know what to wear, did not know how to do my hair, all those things.
My friends joke that I love planning things - which I do - and the reason is because there's so much I want to do, so many things I want to see and experience. If I don't actively pursue these things, I will never do everything I want to do, in life and in my career. That's what gets me up in the morning.
I'm not even on Facebook. I've got enough friends I never see. You know how you have a lot of friends you never call? I don't have time for new friends, and I don't want to be friends with someone only online.
I don't really relate to certain blokey men who just want to talk about blokey things. I never really know what to say and I always feel I have to act blokey in order to have them not say, 'You're a weirdo.'
When you're not able to play ball anymore, you see who's really there for you. I would say that God works in mysterious ways, and He gets rid of your friends for you - the ones who were never really your real friends.
Changing things is not easy, and I say this without any irony. It is not that someone does not want to, but because it is a hard thing to do. Take Obama, a forward-thinking man, a liberal, a democrat. Did he not pledge to shut down Guantanamo before his election? But did he do it? No, he did not. And may I ask why not? Did he not want to do it? He wanted to, I am sure he did, but it did not work out. He sincerely wanted to do it, but did not succeed, since it turned out to be very complicated.
When I work, my first relationship with people is professional. There are people who want to be your friend right away. I say, "We're not gonna be friends until we get this done. If we don't get this done, we're never going to be friends, because if we don't get the job done, then the one thing we did together that we had to do together we failed."
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