A Quote by Chelsea Handler

I don't cook... I don't know how to clean... there's may be a good chance I'm an alcoholic.

Chelsea Handler

Quote Topics

Chance Clean Cook Good Good Chance How Know Know How May

Quote Author

Chelsea Handler
American - Comedian
Born: February 25, 1975

I don't cook - I can cook - but I'm not very good. I like being asked over for dinner, because she can't cook either. We would starve if it weren't for modern technology. I know how to work a microwave, but love home cooked meals.

Mark Mothersbaugh

I don't really care that much about eating. But I like impressing people with how good a cook I am. So I will cook. I'm an excellent cook. Not many people know that about me.

Patricia Marx

In your everyday life you always have opportunities for enlightenment. If you go to the rest room, there is a chance to attain enlightenment. When you cook, there is a chance to attain enlightenment. When you clean the floor, there is a chance to attain enlightenment.

Shunryu Suzuki

I'm a good cook, and I look at something like 'Iron Chef' and think, 'It's a good thing I already know how to cook' - because I would never think I could do it if I watched these shows.

Nora Ephron

To become a good cook is to know yourself, and I, at this point, know myself. I know myself, and I know the cook I want to be and the cook I am striving to be.

Marcus Samuelsson

I can't cook, at all. I would not know how to make coffee. I took cooking classes, so I know how to make chocolate soufflé, but ask me if I want to make soufflé. I let somebody else make the chocolate soufflé, and I eat it. I found that, when I took cooking classes and tried to cook, I didn't want to eat it. The joy was gone. I was always filthy with the stuff, and then had to clean it up. I don't like that.

Barbra Streisand

The Savior isn't our last chance; He is our only chance. Our only chance to overcome self-doubt and catch a vision of who we may become. Our only chance to repent and have our sins washed clean.

Sheri L. Dew

please don't cook me, kind sirs! I am a good cook myself, and cook better than I cook, if you see what I mean.

J. R. R. Tolkien

There is one, and only one solution, and we have almost no time to try it. We must turn all our resources to repairing the natural world, and train all our young people to help. They want to; we need to give them this last chance to create forests, soils, clean waters, clean energies, secure communities, stable regions, and to know how to do it from hands-on experience.

Bill Mollison

Denial is huge for any alcoholic, especially for a functioning alcoholic, because I - you know, I'm not living under a bridge. I haven't been arrested.

Elizabeth Vargas

I may not be funny. I may not be a singer. I may not be a damn seamstress. I may have diabetes. I may have really bad vision. I may have one leg. I may not know how to read. I may not know who the vice president is. I may technically be an alien of the state. I may have a Zune. I may not know Excel. I may be two 9-year-olds in a trench coat. I may not have full control of my bowels. I may drive a '94 Honda Civic. I may not “get” cameras. I may dye my hair with Hydrogen Peroxide. I may be afraid of trees. I may be on fire right now. But I'm a fierce queen.

Justin Johnson

The thing about being at home versus being out in the world working is, it's a whole different vibe. When I'm home with my kids and partner, I will cook - even though she's a very good cook. She's learned over the years. We started with basics, you know, how to saute onions, how to saute mushrooms.

Cat Cora

The trouble is, I know too much about how to cook to be satisfied with a cook.

Dorothea Tanning

I am actually a very good cook (if I may say so myself). I just don't know that many recipes.

Kyle Richards

I've been asked a lot lately if tennis is clean or not. I don't know any more how you judge whether a sport is clean. If one in 100 players is doping, in my eyes that isn't a clean sport.