A Quote by Chelsea Handler

People always tell me I need to have a kid, and I say, No, I don't. Because I wouldn't have just one kid; I'd have six. I need a huge family. So I just kind of fill my house with tons of rejects and misfits so it feels like I have a bunch of children.
I'd prefer if people had no impressions of me. As a kid, I had to tell my own family, "Please, just don't talk about me!" Because they always got it wrong. Always. I just didn't want them to tell anyone anything about me.
Kids need to know more than just about unicorns and zombies and vampires. The rhetoric that's coming out is anti-black, anti-Mexico, anti-diversity. [Adults] definitely need to put it in context. I've talked to people who are literally struggling to sleep because they're anxious. Children pick up on that. Talk to your kid. Tell them, "this is what's bothering me." Explain that what's going on is unacceptable.
I always wondered, like, you know how you go to the family barbecue, and your uncle is that funny guy that you laugh at because he's family? That's how I felt with 'Fighter and the Kid.' People would laugh at my stuff, but it was always tough for me to tell. I just needed to see if there was something going on.
I don't have a formula. Every time an actor wants me to hold their hand, I hold their hand. If they say, "Stay," I say "Okay, respect." You know? "I'm right over here." A kid, if I need to give a line-reading, I'll start acting out the part for the kid and just mimic the kid. You know? Whatever it takes.
People are constantly telling me, whether they are friends who feel sorry for me, because I can't find a place to live, or real estate agents, "You can't afford an apartment the size you need with this many books. Why don't you just put some of your books in storage?" And I always say the same thing: "What if I told you I had four children? Would you say, 'You just can't afford to house four children. Why don't you just put two of them in storage?'" That's how I feel.
I have very simple tastes. An ex-girlfriend used to tell me I have the palate of a kid because there are only five or six foods that I love. And if you rotate them on a regular basis, that's all I need to eat - like arugula, spinach, and grilled chicken.
As I was a kid, I had a bunch of musicians, they always told me that I should listen to all styles of music and try to play all styles and be authentic at it, if I can, because you never know who's gonna call you. This was coming from fellow horn players who would get the call to play with different types of people. Since I was a kid, that was just something I was always interested in.
People just like the thrill of anything. Dangerous things and dark things are exciting. Like as a kid, I knew I wasn't going to get killed if I went into the Haunted House but you kind of feel like you are. And when it comes out the track the other side, it's like, "we're still alive"! And I find it really funny when adults get really scared because I've not been really scared since I saw Jaws when I was a little kid. I just think people like the thrill of it, they like to feel like they accomplished something, that they survived the movie.
I got a dollhouse when I was six, and my sister would always say, 'You realize you're just talking to yourself. What are you doing?' That kind of opened up this creative need to tell stories.
I was like any other kid: very normal, I can say. I just was a simple kid that came from a humble family and was taught by my father to be a family man and be committed to them. I stepped into boxing following my older brothers.
I have always written - since I was a kid. I might say that I am essentially a writer who is bored to be alone in the room writing. I need to have more people around me. So, I 'write' with a film camera and have a party at the same time by having a bunch of people around.
I always believed I was an ugly duckling in a family of swans, you know? I was such a black sheep, and it was the same way in high school... I was just kind of that awkward theater kid with a bunch of athletes... it was very 'Glee.'
I always believed I was an ugly duckling in a family of swans, you know? I was such a black sheep, and it was the same way in high school... I was just kind of that awkward theater kid with a bunch of athletes... it was very Glee.
When I was kid, yeah, my family, my parents wanted me to marry a Jewish girl because that was what they taught their children, and thought it would be an easier life for me to raise a Jewish kid. And I have a Jewish wife, I have a Jewish kid. They seem pretty happy about it.
I want it because I love it. I loved it my whole career. I've always played with a lot of pressure, since I was a little kid. That's what I need. That's what I need to perform at a high level and that's what I need to bring the best out of me.
I just feel like a kid that has some money now, that can take care of my family... I think I'll always be a kid. I'm always messing around, always running around, always trying to have a good time.
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