A Quote by Chelsea Martin
I made my first website when I was ten. I flirted using instant messages all throughout high school. I like the Internet. I like cuddling. I like my cell phone. I like awkward eye contact with strangers. I like hearing people's voices. I like parties. I like Craigslist. These things don't seem technologically exclusive to me.
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I like getting to the meat of things. You can't get it in a five-minute interview. I like to hone a person. I like to make eye contact.
When I first started out, they were like, 'Is there anybody that you like that you want to work with, and we'll see what we can do?' And I went, 'I like Malay,' who's Frank Ocean's producer, and they were like, 'Not going to happen.' It did seem so, like, high-in-the-sky sort of thing, do you know what I mean? It still does, that it happened.
To bring the fans into the world of being like part of the crew through things like cell phone cases, making them feel like they are on tour with their favorite band is a cool thing.
How do you not like the Internet? That's like saying, 'I don't like things that are convenient. And easy. I don't like having access to all of mankind's recorded discoveries at my fingertips. I don't like light. And knowledge.
I was always big. I was kind of around this size, like, since I went into high school. I played rugby and stuff like that. So, people, you know, would screw with me, but I never got into, like, a real fight or anything like that.
I like to bump people, to feel me getting into somebody's jersey. I'm just different. I like contact, like physical play, like pushing and holding. But I'm not dirty.
I like happy things, I'm really calm and peaceful. I like birds, bees, I like people. I like funny things that make me happy and gleeful... like when my teacher sucked my wee-wee in pre-school!
I remember reading Dave Barry for the first time and being like oh my God I can't believe you can do this. Watching Mel Brooks and Monty Python and SNL and all that stuff really informed me as a writer and then at high school I started a satire magazine and the college like The Lampoon really introduced me to like you know a lot of very like-minded people who really wanted to like comedy was the center of their lives.
Be like Sasha Fierce. Be like Miley Cyrus. Be like Rihanna. Be like Lady Gaga. Be like Rita Ora and Sia. Be like Madonna. I cannot be like them, except to the extent that they are already being like me.
I love baseball games. I got to go to World Series last year. I watch almost every Cubs game. If I can't watch, I get the updates on my phone. I don't like to go to parties that much. I don't like a lot of people around me, but not in like a weird anxiety way. I just don't like to have to talk to a lot of people.
I know exactly what that movie's [Brokeback mountain] about. I can't define it; it doesn't tie up in a perfect bow. But it's about adolescence. It's about what it feels like - this isn't meant as a criticism, but like things I didn't relate to, which were high school movies. Where I'd watch it and I'd be like, "Well, am I like the kid that nobody likes? Or am I like the person who everybody [likes]?" I couldn't [tell]. I was like quantifying, putting me in a box. "This is my personality at that age" and "I'm this kind of person" just felt like bullshit to me.
I like everything with a heaping dose of feminitity, including my cell phone. I created this phone for the classic woman, who like me, loves diamonds & wants a wireless.
I think people have this "It can't hurt to ask" mentality, which is true on some level. I get comics like, "Hey, will you look at these videos of me on MySpace?" I was like, "Well, who's gonna benefit from that? What if I don't like you?" No, I'm gonna write to a stranger and say, "Hi. You like me, and I don't like you. And now I feel bad when I didn't need to feel bad, because you put me on the spot." Or like, "Can I open for you?" Well, I've never seen you work, so no. I certainly made awkward mistakes when I was starting out, and they're just trying to have a career.
I would say that my fatal flaw, as a human being, is that I need people to like me, and if they don't like me, I will obsess over it - and try to change my personality until they like me - even if they don't like me for reasons that have nothing to do with me, and even if they're strangers.
I'm not a big technology guy. I like my privacy and being as normal as I can. I'm not an internet guy. I just don't care for it. I made a Facebook in high school and I couldn't even tell you the password to it. I couldn't even guess the password or email. I haven't been on it in four or five years. I don't like being attached to my phone. That's how I am. I'm an old-school guy.
I'm sorry, those pictures from the Abu Ghraib. At first, they, like infuriated me, I was sad. Then like, a couple days later, after they cut the guy's head off, they didn't seem like much. And now, I like to trade them with my friends.
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