A Quote by Chet Faker
On my Instagram, lots of people tag me in photos of just dudes with beards, and they're like, 'Oh my God, I met Chet Faker' and I'm like, 'That doesn't even look like me.'
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On my Instagram, lots of people tag me in photos of just dudes with beards and they're like, "Oh my god, I met Chet Faker" and I'm like, "That doesn't even look like me." I feel like I'm experiencing beardism or something.
I've met people that I've seen on Instagram and thought 'Oh my God! You don't look like the person I follow on Instagram.' It's important to remember it's a snapshot of someone's life.
It's like those high-school yearbook photos that everyone would rather not see: Oh my God, look at that mullet hair. I have those photos too, but for me, they're, like, entire movies. And they show them on cable.
There was a girl that bullied me years ago, and I was going through, you know, just the standard Instagram wormhole on her account, going way back into her photos and, yes, ended up liking something and I was like, "No!" I just wanted to disconnect my Instagram - Oh, and then she wrote me a message saying, "It's so great to see you doing well." I was like, "Nope, nope, you don't get to say that now!"
I'm obsessed with beards. First of all, beards make you look like more of an animal. Second, I kind of like biting beards; it's a pastime of mine. And when I make out with a dude who has a beard - who are the only kinds of dudes I make out with - then my glitter gets stuck in their beards, and then no other chick will make out with them for at least three days.
I look at photos of the Sochi Olympics - even though it sometimes seems like it was just yesterday - that photo doesn't even look like me. It looks like a child. I don't even recognize myself.
What happened to me is I gained a little weight so I could be more accessible to people. They're not like, 'Oh my God, he's, like, a male model comedian; yuck, ugh.' It's like, 'Oh, he's a little squishy; He's like me. He's accessible.' And girls are like, 'Look how cuddly he is. I just want to cuddle up in his neck fat and go to sleep.'
I've made a few hits where I'll look up at the screen and be like, 'Oh my God.' Like it wasn't even me, like I just watched another guy kill this guy, and I don't even think that was me that made that hit.
If I took perfect pictures all the time, the people standing in the room with me, or on the carpet, would think, 'What an actress! What a faker!' That thought embarrasses me so much that I look like s**t in half my photos, and I don't give a f***. What matters to me is that the people in the room leave and say, 'She was cool. She had a good time. She was honest.'
I'm obsessed with beards. First of all, beards make you look like more of an animal. Second, I kind of like biting beards; it's a pastime of mine.
Learning that aesthetic as a kid - seeing those photos - made me think that that's what photos are supposed to look like. I never understood snapshots. I was looking at them like, "This is horrible; that's not what a picture is supposed to look like." I was taught by these photos. So when I picked up the camera, though I had never done it before, I kind of already knew what I was doing.
I love people who Instagram story themselves running and they'll tag me or they'll send me a message and they'll be like, 'Wow this is so motivational and so inspirational.'
When I got to the stage, it was like a release, you know what I mean? Because it was like, 'Oh, people like me. People like me. They're listening to what I have to say. They're not judging me on how I look; they're judging me on what I'm saying.' So to me, that's what's worth it, and that's what comedians have.
Oh, I was sobbing, like, so bad when baby arrived. Like, I don't think people have seen a man sobbing like that. It was awful, but in the most joyful way. I mean, I was picking that baby up and putting him on me. And the baby, like, halfway opened his eyes and it just made me feel like, 'Oh my god, this is the most incredible thing.'
Instagram is not an option for me. I have an Instagram - like relationship with a few people, some of whom I've only met once. We e-mail each other a picture every week. But I cannot deal with posting it. It's a very personal message for me.
I definitely have friends who gave me a tag for a joke I already had. Like, 'Here's another line.' A tag is, 'Oooooh, it's an industry term.' It's like, there's the punchline, and a tag is like a secondary punchline.
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