A Quote by Chris Ofili
There was a point in time where the thought of people even talking about me made me anxious. Physically.
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I'm an anxious person in general, but something about being pregnant and awaiting the release of my first book, The Monsters Of Templeton, made me into an insane anxious person. I didn't sleep at night. I ended up sleeping all day. In a strange way I felt like the world was going to end. I found myself so deeply depressed at times that I started to read about happiness, and that took me into books about idealism and utopianism. Reading books about people who tried to build utopian societies of different kinds gave me a kind of lift.
If I'm chatting to someone who's an anxious wreck and I don't understand it, because I've never been anxious, then it's strange. There's no real way of talking to them about it without saying, 'I've no idea what you're talking about. I'm better than you.'
For me to even be talking about bikini confidence is crazy. If you had asked me a couple of months ago, I probably would have been like, 'what are you talking about...' so it's actually huge for me to even feel okay with putting a bikini on.
At this point, a lot of people have made their mind up about me one way or another. I'm sure there's a certain segment of writers who won't ever give me the time of day, hate me, don't get me, don't think I'm good, or whatever. I guess that's fine. It's only an opinion. There are other people who do get it, and can be objective. I could be wrong, but a lot of people, except for really young people, have made up their minds one way or the other.
I've certainly experienced racism, but it has not made a great impact on me. I have always thought, as I got older and older, I was more in charge of who I was. What someone thought about me or said about me made less of an impression on me at very vulnerable times.
I have thought about the next steps, and you know, they still don't know that I can dance. They don't know it, and it's frustrating me because I feel that it's an edge that I have, and I'm not talking about I took this hip hop class, I'm talking about this is how people actually know me.
Time is what matters. As time goes by, you and I will be carried inexorably into the mainstream of our period, even though we’re unaware of what it is. And later, when they say that young men in the early Taisho era thought, dressed, talked, in such and such a way, they’ll be talking about you and me. We’ll all be lumped together…. In a few decades, people will see you and the people you despise as one and the same, a single entity.
One of the biggest things I've done is learn how to love myself, flaws and all. Even the things I don't like about myself, I accept. People have made fun of me and made me self-conscious about talking so softly, for example, but I accept that as who I am and I'm not changing it for anybody. I'm at peace with who I am now, and once you've achieved that, all the other stuff disappears.
It's not onstage as often anymore, but whenever I got anxious, I used to talk a lot more, and I wouldn't even know what I was saying... it was so bad. If I just talk myself through something, even if it's just talking about nothing, it usually gets me out of it.
When I got successful and people started talking about me, I didn't want anyone thinking I thought I was a 'big time Charlie.'
I've gotten to work with amazing people. I would say usually we get to a point before we get into the studio where there isn't that sense of anxiety or nervousness of who they are because I don't think it would be as productive in the studio if that was the case. But maybe meeting someone like Neil Young for the first time made me anxious.
I have always been the first on the dance floor. Before fame, people thought it made me a good laugh; now, people point and call me an attention seeker! I'm very aware of the way people can view me, but I'm very aware that I have to just enjoy my life.
I'm actually kinda quiet off stage, a lotta people don't realize that. I was at a dinner party recently, a bunch of people that I don't know, one guy talking plenty for everybody. "Me myself right and then I and then myself and mee, me, I couldn't tell this one about I cause I was talking about myself and Me- Meee- Mee- Me- Me!" Beware the Me monster.
The reason it has relevance is because I, as a popular Arab personality - the Arab people like me and respect me - thought it was time for me to make an ever so tiny statement about what I thought about this whole thing.
At the point when I lost my father, it really made me want to be like a father and be like my father. It was a real turning point for me because it helped me mature - it made me think about being responsible because I wasn't the only one I had to think about.
I've always felt like there was a lot of hype around me even when there wasn't. I felt like everyone was talking about me even when no one was talking about me.
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