A Quote by Christopher Atkins
I always wondered if I was supposed to be excellent at something or not. I think, because of that, I have a lot of insecurities about myself.
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I think a lot about the editing of the films when we're making them, partly because I studied that, and partly because if you think about being in love while you're supposed to be acting in love, there's nowhere to go. You have to focus on something else and then do what's being asked, and you might get some semblance of something interesting.
I think something that escapes a lot of people is my entire career... I call myself the 'often unwanted' because when I got to Ring of Honor, I was told it was supposed to be one-off deal.
I often find myself listening to a record because a lot of people or magazines have told me it's good and I'm supposed to like it, and I try to stay in touch with what's happening and I'm also a fan of music. I find myself trying to like something that I really don't think is that great.
I don't consider myself a funny girl, but I do have a sense of humor because I don't take myself too seriously. Taking yourself too seriously, I think, is not right. Life is supposed to be funny. Because if you can laugh about yourself when you made a mistake or when you did something wrong, you can learn from it.
My whole life I've been so self-conscious about being skinny. And just recently I don't care anymore. All insecurities are projected because of what you think others are saying about you, but they don't really matter at all. My only real insecurities in high school were having such long legs and thick hair-things I'm so very grateful for now.
I think my interest in risk is pretty high, a lot higher than I think a lot of other people who are just looking for something to kind of define themselves, give them a set of fingerprints, and certainly is better for the pocketbook. For me it's always about trying new things and wanting to explore something else and something new of myself and of actors I really like.
Not only did we survive AIDS, Reaganomics, poverty, racism, gang violence, police brutality, substance abuse - not only did we survive that, we created something endured. And whatever you might think of commercial hip hop now, there's a lot there to like and there's a lot there to critique and there's a lot of things you could say both about. But we created something that endured when we ourselves were not supposed to endure. When we ourselves were not supposed to survive and thrive. So I think that is worthy of respect and preservation and it's US history.
It takes me awhile to find something that I'm passionate about. I'm reading a lot and thinking a lot, and torturing myself a lot because I'm feeling really guilty for not writing something today.
In some ways, in the U.S. we don't know how to be. I think in a lot of ways America is about liberation and about change and progressive human relations. And because of that, I feel like that we're confused about who we're supposed to be and what it is that's supposed to satisfy us and make us feel fulfilled.
There's a great deal of mystery in film editing, and that's because you're not supposed to see a lot of it. You're supposed to feel that a film has pace and rhythm and drama, but you're not necessarily supposed to be worried about how that was accomplished.
I think so many people give us ideas of what we are. I think as women especially, because we're sensitive by nature, we're more vulnerable, we absorb other people's ideas about what we're supposed to think or who we're supposed to be and how we're supposed to act.
When I work on something I'm not excited about or not as proud of it as I'd like to be, then I try to work even harder to make the next one and address those insecurities, I tackle insecurities rather than run from them.
I think I've always been slightly addicted to not repeating myself. When you're doing something the first time around, it's often the best time. I think 'Blank Project' is about carrying on. Its that thing where you're making something because you have to, but you don't know how or why.
I think in general, people look at all Olympic athletes, look at all superstar athletes, and they say, "Okay, this guy doesn't have any insecurities." They're almost like these icons who - I don't know how to say it, but like they can't make mistakes. But the reality is, and I'll tell you this firsthand, a lot of great athletes have a lot of insecurities, and they have a really hard time dealing with a lot of so-called losing or however you want to classify it.
I thought of the people before me who had looked down at the river and gone to sleep beneath it. I wondered about them. I wondered how they had done it--it, the physical act. I simply wondered about the dead because their days had ended and I did not know how I would get through mine.
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