A Quote by Christopher Titus

At the end of the Peterson trial, my daughter turns to me and she goes, 'Daddy, are you going to kill Mommy?' 'Oh, honey - that's up to mommy, isn't it? — © Christopher Titus
At the end of the Peterson trial, my daughter turns to me and she goes, 'Daddy, are you going to kill Mommy?' 'Oh, honey - that's up to mommy, isn't it?
I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus. Underneath the mistletoe last night. She didn't see me creep down the stairs to have a peep; She thought that I was tucked up in my bedroom fast asleep. Then, I saw mommy tickle Santa Claus Underneath his beard so snowy white; Oh, what a laugh it would have been. If daddy had only seen. mommy kissing Santa Claus, last night.
But my family's really close and I was interested in what Mommy and Daddy did for a living. So when Mommy and Daddy had a script that wasn't totally age inappropriate, they would let me read it. And we would talk about it.
Mommy and Daddy both had jobs when I was a kid, so, like a lot of people my age, TV became Mommy and books became Daddy.
At a certain point in one's career, it's really wonderful when your child turns around and goes, 'Oh my God, Mommy, you have to be in that film. My friends are going to die.'
What opens my heart is when my son wakes me up in the morning, nudging me and saying, 'Mommy, mommy!'
I love that, 'mommy-shaming.' When I was a new mom, I was obsessed with how I was being perceived and trying to fit in as a mom, going to mommy-and-me classes and things like that, and never quite measuring up to 'the real moms,' the 'robot moms,' as I called them.
There's something universal about illness... Whether you like it, at some level all patients are saying, 'Daddy, Mommy, help me, tell me it's going to be alright.'
On daughter Apple's accent: She says Mummy instead of Mommy, I don't mind that. I will if she starts saying basil and pasta the English way, as that really drives me nuts.
Her daddy drank all day and mommy did drugs, never wanted to play or give kisses and hugs. She'd watch the TV and sit there on the couch, while her mom fell asleep and her daddy went out.
I knew one thing. I did not want to be a mommy like mommy.
With the first money I ever made I bought my Mommy and Daddy a car, and helped them fix their house up.
I'm concerned about my daughter because she will not believe in Santa Claus. No matter what I say to her, she just doesn't buy it, and she's 2. I refuse to give it up. I say, 'There is a Santa Claus,' and she says, 'Okay, Mommy. In pretend world, right?' She really doesn't believe.
Training for the Olympics was much easier than balancing my life now! When practice was over, there was time for me. But with four kids and a career, I have no downtime. When I'm not on the road, I finish my workday at 2:30 p.m. Then I pick the kids up from school and they get 100 percent Mommy, not part Mommy and part Mary Lou Retton.
The other day my daughter said, ‘Daddy, guess who my favorite Stroke is?’ And I thought she was going to say me because, oh man, she loves me so much, and she said: ‘Julian! Because he’s the singer
We love America just as much as they do. But in a different way. You see, they love America like a 4-year-old loves his mommy. Liberals love America like grown-ups. To a 4-year-old, everything Mommy does is wonderful and anyone who criticizes Mommy is bad. Grown-up love means actually understanding what you love, taking the good with the bad and helping your loved one grow.
Mommy is one of the chosen people … and daddy believes that Jesus is magic!
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