A Quote by Christopher Titus

Satan called - he's changed the sheets, fluffed the pillows and laid out the complimentary chocolate. Hell is ready for John Edwards.

Christopher Titus

Quote Topics

Changed Chocolate Hell Hell Is John Laid Out Pillows Ready Satan Sheets

Quote Author

Christopher Titus
American - Comedian
Born: October 1, 1964

Democratic candidate John Kerry on Tuesday chose fellow Senator John Edwards to be his running mate. Asked about Edwards' lack of foreign policy experience, Kerry revealed his new campaign slogan, 'I Promise Not to Die.'

Dennis Miller

John Edwards comes from working folk, just like me. John Edwards worked hard and excelled to get his education, just like me.

Harvey Gantt

There are rumors that there is a John Edwards sex tape. People say it's twenty minutes of Edwards caressing and stroking...And that's just the part where he fixes his hair.

Craig Ferguson

During last night's debate, John Kerry and John Edwards were so friendly to each other some political experts think that they may end up running together. In fact Kerry and Edwards were so friendly, President Bush accused them of planning a gay marriage.

Conan O'Brien

A Ted Kennedy, John Kerry, John Edwards, Howard Dean, George Soros, or Al Gore looks - no, acts - like he either came out of a hairstylist's salon or got off a Gulfstream.

Victor Davis Hanson

Evil exists because of the disobedience of Satan. God gave Satan, and the angels, and man free will. Satan used his free will and abused it by not obeying authority. Hell was created by Satan’s disobedience to God, and his purposeful removal from God’s love—which is what hell is. Removing yourself from God’s love. You send yourself to hell. God does not send you there.

Stephen Colbert

I have Playboy pillows, sheets, towels, barware.

Bridget Marquardt

I sold my soul to the devil. I'm going to hell. I'm headed to hell. I want the money, the women, the fortune, and the fame. That Means I'll end up burning in hell scorching in flames. Satan'll be in to see me later to see if I'm interested in being partners. Devil worshippin', Satan music.

Eminem

I've gotten letters, but mostly from Bible-belt types who say, you must be Satan! They come right out and call me Satan and hope that I'm damned to hell.

George A. Romero

John Wilkes Booth and Lee Harvey Oswald meet in hell and team up to assassinate Satan.

John Hodgman

Bury you with Satan, to hell then I bury ya. I'm like Lucifer the unforgiven, cast out of heaven, I much rather rule in hell than be a servant. A hell on earth survivor means you better be a earner.

Necro

But it was very hard for people to separate me out from Hillary Clinton. All their ads were Hillary Clinton, John Kerry, John Edwards, and me. They said I was more liberal than these guys, and that if I went to Washington I'd be supporting their agenda. I found that extremely difficult to overcome.

Brad Carson

Think of Jonathan Edwards who thundered the terrors of God and what Hell was like until men grasped their seats and hung on to them, fearing they were falling into Hell itself. Men were moved by fear to escape damnation. That was believed to be Christianity. Why any coward wanted to keep out of Hell. He might not have had one idea in his soul of what was the real true earmark of Christianity.

John G. Lake

The rugs that I picked out and the pillows with the little owls, sort of like whimsical throw pillows - I feel like you can never enough whimsical throw pillows in your house, in your life. My husband probably disagrees.

Busy Philipps

[Senators John Kerry & John Edwards] have risen high in Democratic polls with a brand of class resentment and soak-the-rich rhetoric rooted in the old-fashioned liberalism of Ted Kennedy.