A Quote by Christopher Titus

My dad also survived five divorces, and the women he married cleaned his ass out every time. I used to think my dad got divorced because he wanted new furniture. At one point in my life, all we had left was a wooden box, a 12 black-and-white TV, and a four-man rubber raft for a couch. And yet, I was the coolest kid in third grade. Mom, can we have a sleepover in Christopher Titus' house? They have a raft in the living room! We can row to breakfast in the morning. I can actually be Captain Crunch!

Christopher Titus

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Christopher Titus
American - Comedian
Born: October 1, 1964

My dad had a third-grade education in Mexico. Third grade. My mom had a fifth-grade education. They were raised in a poor home... They got married and they had their family, but there's hardly any future.

Mikey Garcia

When you're the ones in the life raft and you have four or five women in the life raft who put it together, by the end of it your nerves are blown. The people you're going to attack are the people who are helping you, who you are holding it together with.

Junot Diaz

I thought food and drink were just part of the perks of living at the White House. The next day, I got a call from his secretary saying my dad wanted to see me in the Oval Office, and when I got there, dad was waving this little pink receipt. I didn't know it came out of his salary.

Steven Ford

My mom and dad got divorced, so it was one of those things where Sundays I'd go to Dad's apartment, and this was, say, 1970-whatever, and it had a pool table on the top floor in a very traditional kind of divorced-dad apartment building.

Chris Eigeman

I watched a lot of television as a kid, and the suburbs to me - that was exotic! Like, a mom and dad who lived in the same house and had jobs and cooked breakfast at the same time every morning and did laundry in a washing machine and dryer? That was like, 'Woah! Who are they? How do you get to be like that?'

Gaby Hoffmann

When I was four, we moved to a farm outside Springfield, Missouri. We had a radio show from that farmhouse. My dad always wanted a farm. We used to go out and milk the cows every morning and then do a radio show with a remote control from our living room. We'd start by singing 'Keep On The Sunny Side.'

Charlie Haden

My mom and dad divorced when I was 8 years old, but my Dad never left my life. We would go over there on weekends and he'd be playing his guitar, listening to Bobby Blue Bland and B. B. King and KBLX radio while he was out in the garage painting custom cars.

E-40

My dad got divorced six times. Well, he actually only got divorced five times. He wouldn't divorce the sixth one 'cause he said he didn't want people to think he couldn't commit. 'I don't want people not taking me serious.' Dad, your last marriage was performed in Reno by an ordained lesbian Elvis impersonator. Who you hit on.

Christopher Titus

I grew up in a two-bedroom house with my grandfather, my mom and dad and four kids. I slept on the couch or on the floor, and I always wanted to have my own space.

John Searles

My mom and dad got divorced when I was, like, 8, and when I went to my dad's house on the weekend, he'd play a lot of music: Miles Davis, Radiohead, Thom Yorke, Elton John.

Lil Yachty

When I wanted to go away to college in Toronto, my dad said, 'You can't go.' When I got to Toronto, I bought a couch, and my dad cried for the whole weekend because, as my mum told me, 'Now you have furniture; he knows you are never coming back.'

Nia Vardalos

When I was a little, little kid, my family got a new washing machine, and they had a big box that was left over. So I cut a big hole in the box, and I made it like a giant TV set. I brought it into the living room, and I did the news and the weather for my family.

Jack Reynor

Mom and Dad were married 64 years. And if you wondered what their secret was, you could have asked the local florist - because every day Dad gave Mom a rose, which he put on her bedside table. That's how she found out what happened on the day my father died - she went looking for him because that morning, there was no rose.

Mitt Romney

I've probably been the hardest on my dad. I was the oldest girl; I was 12 when they divorced. So from birth until 12, I had him, and I was the center of his attention. So that just all completely changed and went away when they divorced.

Sara Evans

It is often said that the Buddha's teaching is only a raft to help you cross the river, a finger pointing to the moon. Don't maistake the finger for the moon. The raft is not the shore. If we cling to the raft, if we cling to the finger, we miss everything. We cannot, in the name of the finger or the raft kill each other. Human life is more precious than any ideology, any doctrine.

Nhat Hanh

My dad had to work for everything in his life; so did my mum: she cleaned people's houses and looked after old people. You can be complacent and sit on the couch and complain about the dreams that you missed. Get off the couch!

Sam Worthington

A Quote by Christopher Titus

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