A Quote by Chuck Palahniuk
People would ask me to autograph their bodies and then the next time I'd see them on tour they'd have my autograph tattooed. I decided I wouldn't write on people anymore, but I'd give them arms and legs and if they wanted those autographed I'd do that.
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It takes about three times as long to explain to someone why you won't give them an autograph as it does to actually give them an autograph.
When people ask me for an autograph I usually ask for a pen and then stab them with it.
When people come up to me and ask for my autograph and everything... I find it funny that people want my autograph.
When I was first asked for an autograph, I felt so uncomfortable that I just wrote, 'Tig's Autograph,' and from then on, that's what I write when I sign my name.
I used to get letters from guys in prison. Anymore now I don't even open them. They'd ask me to please sign a couple of cards for their children. Then I see them on eBay two weeks later. Or the people that write and say, "You is one of my favorite cartoonists. I would like a drawing, please." I guess they encourage inmates to write letters to celebrities. It's like a way to make money by selling autographs or something. Give me a break.
A fan would get an autograph and that was that. If we didn't tour again for five years, we wouldn't remember them.
If I walk on the street, if I go to a restaurant, people come to me and say: "Can we take a photo together? Can you give me your autograph?" They would bring their expensive Armani or Prada wallet to sign. Other people who are desperate show me a photo of their dead daughter and ask: Can you support me? I tell them: How can I? Morally, of course, I sympathize with you. But I cannot support you and you cannot support me. This is the condition of this society. We are separated.
Somebody will come up to me after a show and have me sign their arm, and the next time I see them my autograph has been permanently inscribed on their arm.
A fan can only go as far as you let them. I've seen crazy things like girls having me autograph their body and then they go get it tattooed. I guess that's too far, but it's cool with me.
The selfie has become a new autograph, but it takes twice as long to do as a real autograph. I do it because I'm like, "What am I going to do, these people bought me my house." Why am I not going to take a picture with them except I always say, "You have to hold it up! Shoot down or it's really ugly if you shoot up!" So not only does it take longer, you have to teach them camera angles.
It's strange, somebody asked for my autograph the other day. Because I finished school and I'm not really doing anything at the moment, I was just kind of aimlessly wandering around London and these two guys who were about 30 came up and asked for my autograph. I was really quite proud at the time, and they wanted to take photos and stuff. And then they were sort of wandering around and I was kind of wandering around and I bumped into them about three times, and every single time their respect for me kept growing and growing and growing.
When a kid smiles because you take an extra 30 seconds, minute, minute and a half to go over and ask them what their name is, give them the shirt you just wore to the ring, you just see them light up. We've all been kids before; we've all had our heroes, been fans of somebody and needed that autograph.
When I was growing up, my favorite player was Reggie Jackson - and I never got the opportunity to get an autograph from Reggie. I was so frustrated. I mean, he was my idol. And I couldn't get no autograph. I would go through punishment waiting on him (after games) because he was always the last guy to come out. And I would go back home with no autograph.
People don't ask me for my autograph.
My dad was always genuine with the fans and said, 'You must appreciate every single one of them,' and I always did. I always tried to make time for every autograph or every picture. What's an autograph? It's the simplest thing in the world.
The only autograph I ever got, which I do not have anymore, was Matthew Fox when he was on 'Party Of Five.' I was in high school, and he came to our local amusement park, and I stood in line and got an autograph.
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