A Quote by Conan O'Brien
In the press this week, NBC has been calling me every name in the book. In fact, they think I'm such an idiot they now want me to run the network.
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Now, because he knows that his economic theories don't work, he's been spending these last few days calling me every name in the book. Lately he's called me a socialist for wanting to roll-back the Bush tax cuts for the wealthiest Americans so we can finally give tax relief to the middle class. I don't know what's next. By the end of the week he'll be accusing me of being a secret communist because I shared my toys in kindergarten. I shared my peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
God, in a dream, talked to me, and he gave me that name. I'm like, 'you know what God? That is a funny name! I might need to run with it!' And ever since then, I've been calling myself Swaggy P. It's a household name.
I want to fall in love, I think. I've never. I know. Everyone I know's been in love or in relationships now and... There's only ever been... there's been people telling me they love me, but it freaks me out and I just run, run. I think I'm a bad girlfriend.
Now I'm a God, but tomorrow, when you have to stop me from playing with dead things again, you'll be right back to calling me an idiot, won't you?
Bureaucracy has murdered people in the greater New Orleans area and bureaucracy needs to stand trial before Congress today. So I'm asking Congress, please investigate this now. Take whatever idiot they have at the top of whatever agency, give me a better idiot. Give me a caring idiot. Give me a sensitive idiot. Just don't give me the same idiot.
There's a rumor that NBC is going to have Tom Brokaw fill in temporarily as the NBC News anchor. When asked why, a network spokesperson said, 'Because the only other NBC person we have is Bill Cosby.'
I thrive best on solitude. If I have had a companion only one day in a week, unless it were one or two I could name, I find that the value of the week to me has been seriously affected. It dissipates my days, and often it takes me another week to get over it.
Even though the press at times made me completely crazy as they followed me around the hall, and asked tough questions over and over again - now believe me, every politician feels this way - it is a necessary part of our life, and we must have a press that isn't cowed and won't be afraid of ratings if they get put to the back of the room at a press conference.
I feel like network didn't want me. I was doing all these pilots, and it never worked out. I was like, network doesn't like me. I'm going to go to cable where I'm appreciated. Then it was funny; I think I had to go to cable for network to appreciate me.
For me to be able to reach out to other people throughout all this has been great, people want to hear from me and hear my music right now so it keeps me happy. I cherish every moment. I have a different perspective on everything now. In the end, I think it will make me a better person.
I've run out of mates that haven't had a baby now. It does make me think of my parents having a family so young and the fact that I've been able to avoid it for so long. It does make me a feel a little bit selfish.
Now every idiot from high school's like, 'I'm back!' We weren't supposed to meet again. Stop poking me and inviting me to your weird vampire parties. No, I don't want to follow you on Twatter. Like, nobody's interested in you. I don't want to see you in real life, why would I want to follow you in the imaginary one?
There is nothing in a name. My husband, Santhosh Menon, called me Navya at first, which I did not like as it was my screen name. He knew me as Navya and found calling me Dhanya strange, so he came up with a pet name.
Everyone calls me foodgod. Scream it in the streets and run up to me in restaurants, and I want people calling me foodgod when they write about me - not Jonathan or 'BFF.'
When the other kids started calling me nicknames, I knew everything was all right. I have a pretty big mouth, so they hit on that and began calling me Gatemouth or Satchelmouth, and that Satchelmouth has stuck to me all my life, except that now it's been made into 'Satchmo' - 'Satchmo' Armstrong.
You have to trust that if you are calling my name in a way that is offensive to me, I'm going to share it with you. But you also have to know what your feelings are behind calling me "bell."
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