A Quote by Conan O'Brien

Donald Trump said prior to the debate that he wants to be very civil. He said that instead of referring to all Hispanics as criminals, he'll call them criminal Americans.
Donald Trump claims - he did interview after the debate where he said, well, gosh, you can't find Americans to do these jobs to be waiters or waitresses or bellhops.What ridiculous nonsense. "The New York Times" reported roughly 300 Americans applied for those jobs. He only hired 17. Instead, he brought in foreign workers, because they're captive workers, because you can pay them less because they can't leave.
Donald Trump said he still wants to look more closely at Obama's birth certificate to make sure that it's real. Incidentally, President Obama said the same exact thing about Donald Trump's hair.
I think it's very sad that CNN leads Jeb Bush, down a road by starting off virtually all the questions, "Mr. Trump this, Mister" - I think it's very sad. I watched the first debate, and the first long number of questions were, "Mr. Trump said this, Mr. Trump said that. Mr. Trump" - these poor guys - although, I must tell you, [Rick] Santorum, good guy. Governor [Mike] Huckabee, good guy. They were very nice, and I respect them greatly. But I thought it was very unfair that virtually the entire early portion of the debate was Trump this, Trump that, in order to get ratings, I guess.
I remember we [with Donald Trump] were sitting in a meeting and he walked in and he looked at me and he said - maybe five or six of us in there - and he said, "Are you the first woman to ever run a presidential campaign?" And so the guys in the room said, "First Republican woman." And I said - you know, I always think of Susan Estrich and Mary Kay and Donna Brazile, and respect them enormously; know one of them very well. And I said, "Well, I'm the first Republican one."
We're actually taking people that are criminals, very, very, hardened criminals in some cases ... with a tremendous track record of abuse and problems, and we're getting them out and that's what I said I would do. ... And I said at the beginning, we are going to get the bad ones, the really bad ones, we're getting them out and that's exactly what we're doing.
He [Donald Trump] said in the debate - he said, gosh, I'm being audited for two years. Then he said three years. Then he said maybe five years. Listen, if there's a problem in his taxes, the voters have a right to know, because come September, October, the general election, folks in the media are going to make a heyday about any problems in his taxes.
Donald Trump has no design to transform America. Donald Trump doesn't think America is second-rate. Donald Trump doesn't think America's guilty. Donald Trump doesn't think America owes people things. Donald Trump doesn't think that the borders are to be wide open so that anybody who wants here can come here because we've screwed them at some time in the past.
You think the pope is mad that Donald Trump said Two Corinthians instead of "second"? Get this. Pope Francis just said that contraception can be justified now.
A top aide to Donald Trump says he quit the campaign this weekend because of Trump's public feuds, but Trump said he was fired. When asked what he was fired for, Trump said, 'Quitting!'
Donald Trump believes that the world will be safer if more nations have nuclear weapons. He's said Saudi Arabia should get them, Japan should get them, Korea should get them. And when he was confronted with this and told, wait a minute, terrorists could get those, proliferation could lead to nuclear war, here's what Donald Trump said, and I quote, go ahead, folks, enjoy yourselves.
Donald Trump believes that the world will be safer if more nations have nuclear weapons. And he's said Saudi Arabia should get them, Japan should get them, Korea should get them. And when he was confronted with this, and told, wait a minute, terrorists could get those, proliferation could lead to nuclear war, here's what Donald Trump said, and I quote: "Go ahead, folks, enjoy yourselves."
I never endorsed Donald Trump or any of the candidates who are running for the nomination that would make them the leader of their party. I said of Mr. Trump that I give him credit as the only one who stood in front of "some" members of the Jewish community and told them he did not need or want their money. This was very big because any man who is able to stand on his own is free enough to do what is in the best interest of the country. That is what I said and that is what I meant.
Donald Trump doesn't have a plan. He said, I have a secret plan, and then he said, um, I know more than all the generals about ISIS. And then he said, I'm going to call the generals to help me figure out a plan. And finally he said, I'm going to fire all the generals. He doesn't have a plan. But he does have dangerous ideas.
There's no question that Donald Trump has said things that are very unsettling. I mean, whether it's comparing Mexicans to rapists, demonizing Muslim Americans, excoriating the federal judge who was handling the case.
I want to say that even - and Bernie said this many, many times - in several of the actual public debates, she said on her worst day, Hillary Clinton's a thousand times better than Donald Trump. And Donald Trump, in my view, is a threat to the nation.
A person like Donald Trump, who has said what he's said about Muslims, Mexicans, women, George Bush, John McCain - a person like that should not be the nominee of our party or be the president, and I will campaign for an alternative to Donald Trump until that avenue is no longer open.
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