A Quote by Conan O'Brien

Hillary Clinton is trying an entirely different approach with Iowa than the one she tried eight years ago when she lost there. She will not start speeches by saying, 'Hello, Iowa, or Idaho, or whichever one you are.'
Hillary Clinton is now in Iowa. She's spending every waking minute of her day meeting ordinary people, and it's to prepare her for a job in which she will never again meet an ordinary person.
Hillary Clinton has perfected the politics of personal profit and theft. She ran the State Department like her own personal hedge fund, doing favors for oppressive regimes and many others in exchange for cash. Then when she left, she made $21.6 million giving speeches to Wall Street banks and other special interests in less than two years - secret speeches that she does not want to reveal to the public. Lobbyists, CEOs, and foreign governments totally own her, and that will never change if she ever became president.
Hillary is in Iowa to listen to what the people are saying - because if you want her to speak, that will cost you $200,000. So she's there listening.
My mom always wanted to go to Maryland to live there. Baltimore, actually. She had a best friend who lived there. She kept saying that she was going to move there and make that her home, but she only made it halfway across the country and got stuck in Iowa.
For Hillary Clinton, Iowa was a tough state for her in 2008, and she's put a lot of effort into fixing those mistakes.
My grandmother from Iowa, she is dancing in Heaven at the prospect that the next president of the United States is going to be Hillary Rodham Clinton.
Hillary Clinton said that her childhood dream was to be an Olympic athlete. But she was not athletic enough. She said she wanted to be an astronaut, but at the time they didn't take women. She said she wanted to go into medicine, but hospitals made her woozy. Should she be telling people this story? I mean she's basically saying she wants to be president because she can't do anything else.
Hillary Clinton is driving across Iowa in a van. It's to get to know the people she'll never, ever see again in her life.
Hillary Clinton trashes the banks every time she opens her mouth, and yet she made $21 million in two years making speeches to those very banks that she trashes every day.
Hillary Clinton is campaigning in Iowa, virtually going door to door to every home in Iowa. Jehovah's Witnesses finally got fed up and said, 'Get lost. Get out of here!'
Scarlett Johansson has a smile she tries to suppress in every movie she makes. She's been trying to keep a straight face since she appeared with Bill Murray 11 years ago in her breakthrough, 'Lost in Translation.'
Hillary Clinton made $21.6 million giving speeches to Wall Street banks and other special interests and, in less than two years, secret speeches that she does not want to reveal under any circumstances to the public. I wonder why.
I`m talking about the presidential nominee on the Democratic side. Hillary Clinton is corrupt. And she`s lied. And she`s under another criminal investigation. I have yet to hear Hillary Clinton distance herself from a lot of the awful anti-police rhetoric that comes out of some of her supporters. She just sort of ignores it like she didn`t hear it.
I’ve heard Hillary complaining about so many different things over the years. "I wish you would have done this." But she’s been there for 30 years she’s been doing this stuff. She never changed. And she never will change. She never will change.
Some might argue that it's unfair to judge Hillary Clinton for the policies her husband championed years ago. But Hillary wasn't picking out china while she was first lady. She bravely broke the mold and redefined that job in ways no woman ever had before.
I'm from Iowa Falls, Iowa. My dad was a small-town lawyer, and my mom was a pharmacist. She worked at Swartz Drug. I have five older brothers.
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